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Humphrey Bogart

Just as your about to ejaculate during sex you pull your penis out of your partner and you blow your load all over their face while saying, "Here's looking at you kid".

I did a Humphrey Bogart to that chick I slept with last night!!!

by BigDaddyMic September 6, 2012

26πŸ‘ 23πŸ‘Ž


Zach Humphrey

A male (usually white) who is wanted by ladies, so he can make sweet, hot, passionate sex at them.

man, i wish I was a zach humphrey

by YAA YAA BITCH May 20, 2009

21πŸ‘ 24πŸ‘Ž


Humphrey Hambone

Variations include: Humphrey Hambone, Humphrey, Hambone, clumsy dog, that dog puppet, glue i need glue

1) An excessively clumsy person. A bad luck magnet. Often, but not always, a person who does not follow simple common advice then ends up getting hurt, breaking something, and usually both.

2) A friend or acquaintance that seems to always need help or money. A loser that for some reason you keep helping out.

3) Someone who keep borrowing your things, does not return them, and when you finally get the item back it has been ruined.

4) A leech. Someone who cannot or does not want to take care of themselves so they keep screwing up. Often a grown up child that needs mom to pay their debts, or a girlfriend that "can't seem to balance a checkbook". A selfish martyr.

Origins: Humphrey Hambone was a dog puppet created by news anchor Pat McCormick for his one-minute public service announcements on KGO-TV and KTVU-TV. Most of them consisted of Humphrey doing something stupid and Charley Horse (his friend, another puppet) turning to the camera and making a pithy statement about what Humphrey did that was foolish.
Humphrey is best remembered as the clumsy dog that yells out "Glue, I need glue!" after breaking an antique lamp that he did not have permission to use (Charlie famously yells out "You're going to need lots of glue.").

"Humphrey: I said I borrowed it without asking. Worry wart.
*big sneeze* *big crash*
Glue, I need glue!"

"Stoner 1: I can't get this Tupperware open. I need something to pry it open with. *picks up a glass pipe*
Stoner 2: Give me that! I am not going to let you Humphrey my $50 glass pipe on a $2 bowl of Cheetos. *hands him a knife*"

"Chump: It's 2 in the morning, and I have to work tomorrow. Why are you calling me?!
Stoner 2: Can you drive us to the Hospital? Humphrey Hambone here just accidently stabbed himself with a kitchen knife.
Chump: Why can't you drive him?
Stoner 2: I can't drive right now. I was trying to use crazy glue to close the wound, but I ended up gluing my hands together.
Chump: Clumsy dog. Alright, but this is the last time I bale you guys out."

"Chump: Shit, why are the cops pulling me over? I just mailed out my registration.
Stoner 2: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I ran over the mailbox and none of the mail went out.
Stoner 1: Should I ditch the bloody knife?
Chump: You, Hambone! Why the hell did you bring that with you?
Stoner 2: So we could explain to the doctor why we didn't use this glass pipe.
Police loudspeaker: PULL OVER YOUR VEHICLE NOW!
Chump: Oh, shit! You guys seem to have to Myass touch.
Stoner 2: Not anymore. I remembered to wash my hands before trying to glue his wound closed."

by The Neutral Christ June 10, 2010

9πŸ‘ 8πŸ‘Ž


Hungry Humphrey

Hungry Humphrey is a 2.1 4β˜† XL level about its namesake Hungry Humphrey.

He's Humphrey. He's Hungry. He's Hungry Humphrey.

by MuGu47 October 2, 2023


George Humphrey

Wait... there’s a night out there named George Humphrey?

This nigga George Humphrey

by Witniggacheese69 November 13, 2019


Luke humphreys

Luke Humphreys’ always have monster slongs

I saw Luke humphreys monster slong last night and my gawd it’s was huge

by Gettyyatitsout January 13, 2019


Tate Humphrey

A sexy white male with a fat bulge

Tate Humphrey is soo Fuckin sexy!!

by ZestyNuts September 11, 2023