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When you ejaculate on your hand during intercourse and you slap your partner.
Johnny : so earlier we was doin' the nasty right...
Kevin : Yeah
Johnny : and I was like yo jenny, lemme try this new move called the sloppy jalopy
Johnny : she was like what the fuck is that
Johnny : I tell her its this new crazy that everybodys doing so she says ok
Johnny : so then I like ejaculated in my hand and like slapped her in the face
Kevin : .......
Johnny : yeah man it was fucking raw I tell ya
41👍 41👎
A sexual encounter where one is ejaculated on by a group of older men
James: How old were you when you had your first sloppy jalopy?
Michael: Oh I remember it well, it was for my 18th birthday the first time my dad took me to a Russian Bath House... he and his buddies thought it would be funny to surprise me with one for my birthday.
3👍 2👎
The act in which you shove your whole dick into a cup of ice cream and then start thrusting into a vagina which has been thickly covered in whip cream, all while your getting an expensive haircut in a barber shop.
I was giving this hobo a sloppy jalopy last weekend.
55👍 85👎
When you stretch a woman's bunghole pretty wide, and take a shit in her ass, and fill it up with all sorts of magical drinks, beverages and other fizzy stuff. You then jam a buttplug in her asshole for 30 minutes, the whole time she is running around a racetrack full of crippled deer in order to make the concoction rather fizzy.
She will then release the plug this, causing a rather large farting sound due to the built up gas, and a nice mess on the floor. Proceed to pick up this mess with a flask, and pour it into her mouth while farting down her nostrils. This will cause her to suffocate and regurgitate the delightful product that you have made in order to feed to your cat, who will enjoy it thoroughly, or your money back.
L: Dude I feel like a Sloppy Jalopy Fartcake with my bitch tonight.
C: Sounds delightful.
72👍 24👎
When you’re giving your man fellatio and just before he cums, you pull it out and finish in your hand then slap him across the face with it.
My boyfriend was a dick to me last night so I gave him a reverse sloppy jalopy
before you finish, you stick your thumb in her butt with one hand and get some juice and than as you cum in your other hand, you pull your thumb out of her butt, slap her in the face and slid your thumb across her forehead.
karen did not expect to get a simba sloppy jalopy and was not happy with it!
2👍 3👎
men who spend their whole life working in business but then 1920s business partners join a wacky international drivers in the -1,500 mile Monte Carlo Rally*
Those Daring Young Men In Their Jaunty Jalopies.