Goin' John Mayer

To once having pretty good alternative music, but for no apparent reason just start making slow acoustic crap that no one likes. Includes making generic music videos of just sitting on a stool playing a guitar, and walking around a bit, with no destination in mind.

"Well one likes the music I'm playing, I'm Goin' John Mayer! People will have to like my music then!"

"Yea I doubt that."

8👍 2👎

So John Mayer

A guy who is ugly yet hotter than hell. A guy who you don't exactly think looks good or fine, but has this sense of hotness to him. Something that attracts you to him other than just his looks. In this case - John Mayer's voice and lips. WOO HOO

The singing artist....John Mayer

26👍 23👎

John Mayer Disorder

Abbreviated with the acronym JMD, it is a mental state of being when one hears a song and devolops a liking for it, but abruptly changes their feelings about the song upon hearing the name of the artist or group who preforms the song. Getting it's name originally from the reaction by people first listening to the songs produced by artst John Mayer, but has and can be used for other groups and artists.

Jen: Hey, I like this song! Who sings this?
Sara: Lady Antebellum.
Jen: Oh. Turn it off.
Sara: I thought you liked it?
Jen: I can't now, it's classic John Mayer Disorder.

9👍 7👎

John Mayer

When you have a chick so horny, she doesn't even want to waste time taking her panties off, so she just slides them over to the side.

The gay equivalent is a Ricky Martin.

That opera had her so turned on, we John Mayer'd in the car.

6👍 155👎

Pulled a John C. Mayer

Tricking Google's SEO algorithm so you show up on page one for a somewhat tricky random target.

Aunt Becky pulled a John C. Mayer, and now her blog is #2 when you Google him!

91👍 9👎

John Mayer

IfyouwouldveblinkedthenIwouldveLookedawayatthefirstglanceIfyoutastedpoisonyoucouldveSpitmeoutatthefirstchanceIfIwassomepaintdiditsplattrOnapromisinggrownmanAndifIwasachilddiditmatterIfyougottowashyourhandsohAllIusetodowasprayWouldvecouldveshouldveIfyoudneverlookdmywayIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevilAtnineteenAndtheGodshonesttruthisthatthepainwasheavenAndnowthatImgrownImscaredofghostsMemoriesfeellikeweaponsAndnowthatiknowIwishyoudleftmewonderingIfyounevertouchedmeiwouldveGonealongwiththerighteousifIneverblushedthentheycouldveNeverwhisperedaboutthisAndifyouneversavedmefromboredomicouldveoneonasIwasButLordyoumademefeelimprantAndthenyoutriedtoeraseusohYoureacrisisofmyfaithWouldvecouldveshouldveIfIdonlyplayeditsafeIwouldvestayedonmykneesAndIdamnsureneverwouldvedancedwiththedevil…GodrestmysoulimisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeIfclaritysindeaththenwhywontthisdieYearsoftearingdownourbannersyouandLivingforthethrillofhittingyouwhereithurtsGivemebackmygirlhooditwasminefirst..IcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetimeOhGodrestmysoulImisswhoIusedtobeThetombwontclosestainedglasswindowsinmymindIregretyouallthetimeIcantletthisgoIfightwithyouinmysleepThewoundwontcloseIkeeponwaitingforasignIregretyouallthetime

john mayer: dickhead who can’t date woman his age

John Mayer spot

The part on a woman where the butt meets the upper thigh. John Mayer mentions this is his favorite body part on another person on Burning Questions with Ellen DeGeneres.

That girl has a great butt. It really accentuates her John Mayer spot.