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Kelp Dick

The affliction of spending too much time boogie boarding, or sea activities until it inflicts you with a case of kelp in or on your genitalia. Whilst looking and smelling horrible, it somehow fascinates the females of the species.

Tobes: Migs, come on man - stop surfing we've got to go hit the bar for TSBs!!
Migs: Nah man, chicks will dig my Kelp Dick ! Give us ten minutes

by MickeyDangerous May 29, 2009

1👍 3👎


california kelp forest

When a woman does not wash her genitals for an extended period of time, which causes her pubes to become matted, resembling long strands of kelp. It will likely cause the smell to resemble a trash-riddled kelp forest.

I went home with Trashy Tracy™ last night when when I got hammered. She had the nastiest California Kelp Forest, even worse than Nasty Natalie

by Ritapopper12 January 9, 2018


Put Down the Kelp

Means stop sucking dick. In spongebob, theres an episode where the krusty krab sells Kelp drinks and it shows spongebob slurping on the straw, so it means stop slurping on dick.

Matthew: "Oh my god Nathan, you have the best handles and the best shot in basketball and youre really good."
Nathan: "Thanks?"
Nick: "Put down the kelp matthew, jheeez"

by fumastyle November 5, 2017

2👍 1👎


Not If I Can Kelp It Burger

An admittedly unusual, special Bob's Burgers burger that features kelp

"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Not If I Can Kelp It Burger, you should try it!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 17, 2018

47👍 27👎


dirty kelp

when you masturbate using a pocket pussy made out of Lego in the shape of George Floyed.

He's doing a Dirty kelp in the playground

by bigblackgeorge March 19, 2023


KELP YOUR ASS

To make someone’s ass so wet it remind you of underwater cabbage

I wanna kelp your ass so bad tonight” said Tom

by Deifiner111426 February 9, 2021


New Kelp city

city

new kelp city from spongebob.

by anthony443894893 December 7, 2017