you tell it

When a woman, especially your significant other, is dissing, laying the truth or down right being a savage and you agree with their statements.

Preaching to the choir. Making a proclamation that is resounding

Dat hoe is straight trippin'. Sally ain't got shit on me. Gurl..YOU TELL IT!

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do as i tell you you barrel of monkeypiss

when a father is telling his son to do something and the son isn't doing it and the dad gets pissed

when a father is telling his son to do something and the son isn't doing it and the dad gets pissed and says do as i tell you you barrel of monkeypiss

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i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you

a mob-like expression for the phrase "You will die if you hear my secret"

Guy 1: Duuuude, howdja get that Ipod touch?
Guy 2: i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you
Guy 1: is that a no?
Guy 2: WTF was that supposed to mean?
Guy 1: you tell me,
Guy 2: NO!

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Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano?

A sexual copypasta about Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker about Ahsoka in sexual descriptions.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.

Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.

We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.

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Tell me you know

A Desperate way to ask if someone knows something.

Tell me you know how to tie your shoes

HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE

let you tell it

The definition of let you tell it is another way of saying someone is lying or exaggerating the truth of a subject matter

Let you tell it you are the man the block, Let you tell it you are dating the sexiest women in town, Let you tell it your a wall street stock broker.

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You tell 'em

Something you say to a thing when they're barking

"Dog barks"

"You tell 'em!"