Rural Dictionary

PSP

A handheld system made by Sony. Competing with the Nintendo DS. The PSP has all the shit you just don't need or already have, like playing MP3's, browsing the internet, watching movies, and viewing images. To watch the movies you must buy them in a specific format (UMD) for your PSP, so if you already own a movie on DVD and you'd like to watch it on the go, you are shit out of luck. The UMD format is considered dead nowadays, so good luck getting the latest movies on your PSP. To browse the internet, you must be near a wireless access point, places such as Mac Donalds have these, but if you are on a bus/train, or in a car (not driving of course), you are once again, shit out of luck. The included memory stick holds like 5 MP3's, so unless you buy a bigger memory stick, you are shit out of luck. Not to mention you'd look like a fucking geek with a case with the PSP hanging on your belt, so if you want to listen music without having your hands occupied, you are shit out of luck. Combine that with the fact that the PSP's demographic most likely owns a MP3 player already, so that's another feature rendered useless. The retail price is already pretty steep, and if you want to draw it's full potential, you will spend even more. The DS gives you the option to do all that (except playing movies) with third party accesories. That's right, the OPTION.

Next, the games. They don't suck as much as Nintendo fan boys say, but half of the worthy games are PS1/PS2 rehashes, so you basically pay a premium to play old games on a smaller screen and with worse graphics, but this time, it's portable. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Also the gameplay is crippled by the lack of a 2nd analog stick. The original worthy PSP titles are actually pretty good. MGS:PO and Loco Roco for example.

The DS has a ton of good games going for it, and in contrary to what Sony bots spam, they aren't kiddy at all. Phoenix Wright is a splendid game, and Mario & Luigi: PiT is hilarious, with some jokes meant for the mature gamers too. The DS also captures the whole non-gamer market, and is selling 300k weekly in Japan, 10x more than the PSP, but of course people reading this probably don't care about that. Metroid Prime hunters is elite, and Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow? Rocks crotches. The DS also offers full backwards compatibility with the GBA games, so if you didn't get a GBA, you've got a huge selection of games.

Next, the looks. The PSP blew the original DS out of the water on that department, but the tables have turned with the release of the DS Lite, which is gorgeous. The DS also counters screen scratches by protecting both screens when it's closed. The same thing can't be said for the PSP. The PSP also had tons of defects at it's birth, and Sony refused to replace screens with a few dead pixels. The DS too had some dead pixels, but Nintendo offered free and prompt replacements.

Next, the graphics. Yes, the PSP has better graphics than the DS, there is no denying it. HOWEVER, I prefer good 2D, rather than shitty 3D, but that's a matter of taste.

Final verdict:
The PSP is generally made for bragging to your friends, but it does have a few must-have games that are really good. Disappointing because it pushes features that you don't need, and has a dead proprietary format, all of which you pay for.

The DS doesn't have cutting edge graphics, but the sheer amount of killer apps, the beauty of the DS Lite, and a cheap price more than make up for it.

Dumbass: MYN PSP CEN PLAY MP3, MOVIES, BROUSE TEH INTARWEB, END I CEN PLAY GTA: ANOTHER REHASH ON IT! LOLOLOL

Bob: I've had a MP3 player for years, and never in my fucking life have I wished I could browse the internet in a few select places with wireless access points, as for movies, the UMD format is dead dipshit. How does it feel to have burned 400$ on the PSP, and all accessories required to do all those supercool features you mention? Dumbass.

Dumbass: BUT LOOK AT THOSE GRAPHICS!!!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOOL

Bob: Whatever man, I'm gonna kill zombies, shoot some fools online, and solve a murder case with Castlevania, Metroid Prime, and Phoenix Wright on my DS, eat shit and die loser.

James: Aww Bob weren't you too harsh on that dumbass? I mean the PSP does have some great games on it.

Bob: You are right, I'd buy the PSP if I didn't have to pay for stupid features I don't need.

by Gaming Veteran December 26, 2006

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