Parched

Being exceedingly eager to get something, and thus licking the arse of your manager to achieve something.

Often a place in the starting line up if you are Cédric Soares.

The Japanese fans clearing up after their emphatic world cup victory was parched.
Cedric Soares will often try to get in the starting line up through his parched behaviour to Mikel Arteta

fairly parched

In dire need of something to drink or you will possibly die of dehydration. THAT bad.

"Oh hey sister, can you bring me a doctor pepper? I'm fairly parched."

Parch your lips

To (sexually) turn a girl off.

Sorry I didn't know you hated that, I didn't mean to parch your lips.