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A town on the south coast of England that is slowly succumbing to a tide of destitution and urban decay, which is unsual for a town of Bognor's size and location.
Visitors can try drinking in the Wetherspoons before being stabbed, get a celtic band or tribal at the various tattoo parlours, sample processed ham from the discount stores and even try their luck at a bingo hall and job centre.
You can test your local knowledge at a pub quiz on the sea front, where teams of pub employees join in to answer questions about their own pub, and you can witness first hand the summer spectacular of northerners beating up the red coats at Butlins then fighting with eastern europeans over the stuffed macaque they won in the Doner meat-eating contest.
There are retail parks featuring Matalan, Burger King and skulking coal-eyed chavs who only speak in vowels, and some lovely cashpoints at which to have your card cloned, or ripped from your hands by the feral children of a chain-smoking, morbidly obese Jabba with a wispy moustache.
You may also find yourself disorientated by a sudden burst of slavic languages from everyone around you, but this is a reflection of Bognor's multicultural diversity of poor white English and poor white Polish.
Bognor became famous for an appearance in the last episode of Wish You Were Here, in which Judith Chalmers was stalked by a family of Wendigo-people then dismembered and devoured. It was only ever aired on UKTV Gold.
Geoffrey Palmer: I once won an episode of Catchphrase, and Roy Walker gave me the choice of Bognor Regis or Chernobyl, which was still glowing at the time.
Christopher Timothy: I assume you went with Bognor?
Geoffrey Palmer: Only after I was absolutely convinced Chernobyl was utterly irradiated and swimming with mutants. As it turned out, Bognor wasn't quite as irradiated, but had a higher mutant count. Swings and roundabouts.
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A Crap place to live near dunstable, luton, uk e.t.c
A Shite hole place to live in, Especially the Parkside area, full of little kids threataning people with spanners, druggies and black people. No-one wanrs to live in Houghton Regis.
Me- ''I live In Parkside and yesterday i got abuse from a little kid. I kicked his head in then his whole family were after me''
Someone- ''Aint his parents the main dealers of houghton regis anyway?''
Me- Probably.
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Regis Philman is a former astronaut who is known to land spaceships into your backyard.
Mom! Regis Philman has landed in our backyard again. I hope you’re ready to be probed.
Where young people get violated and scared by certain bum-raping English teachers...
Person one - omg have you seen *that English teacher at the Regis school*'s youtube channel??!!
Person two - oml yeah!! I never want to go to *that English teacher at the Regis school*'s class again!!
Person one - shotgun not walking in first...
Person two - this is worse than the bee movie...I couldn't sleep for weeks after that...
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regular business; what you do on a regular basis.
pronounced: reg-ie biz
- hey dude what are we doin tonight?
- you know, the regy biz.
Regy Biz
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The act of one tying a large knife to one's erect and performing intercourse on the female vagina.
As seen in the movie Seven.
Named so for the fact that while performing the performee must scream, "WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?"
Wow, being Regis Philbin'ed to death is the worst possible death you could possibly have.
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