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Schwing and a miss

When you get an instant boner at the sight of something utterly sexual in nature but that boner is quickly rescinded by something purely udesirebale right next to it. It is one hell of a Juxtaposition. Its a spin on the popular phrase "Swing and a miss"

Guy 1: Dude, Look at Carmen over there. She looks super hot in that black sequin dress *gets a boner*

Guy 2: Damn Straight, Bro.

Guy 1: Oh shit, she also brought her ugly friend Susan. *boner rescinded*

Guy 2: That's too bad. Well I guess its a Schwing and a miss.

by AJ2478 June 3, 2016


schwing vote

A change in vote based on the attractiveness of the female candidate.

Dude, I thought about voting for Obama, but did you see that VP debate? Palin has got my schwing vote locked up, I could definitely stare at her for the next 4 years.

by Ockman October 6, 2008


feng schwing

1. n. The art or practice of positioning objects, especially home furnishings, based on a belief in patterns of yin and, more importantly, yang - and the flow of chi that have positive effects on whether or not you're likely to score.

2. n. Interior design for "gettin' some".

see also schwing

"Chaz had his room re-done according to basic principles of feng schwing. Leopard print satin sheets, a flowing canopy, lots of pillows, ambient lighting, easy-reach black lacquered nightstand that cleverly hides......stuff you need to reach easily......and fuzzy bunny slippers - for those inevitable ackward moments... Unfortunately, he ignored the first and foremost success principle of feng schwing - MOVE OUT OF PARENT HOUSE!"

by Hope_Kissit April 25, 2007


Ka-Schwing

It's the word Scwing with a "Kah" sound at the beginning.
Used to identify a woman who is not only obscenely smokin' hot, but gives you a boner so fast and hard that it hits your zipper with the force of a bullet and causes a lot of pain.

Dudeski 1: Dude, did you see that girl at the mall yesterday?

Dudeski 2: Yeah, my dick Ka-Schinged so hard I think I ripped off some skin. I even shouted "Ka-Schwing"!

Dudeski 1: So that's why you fell over. And it explains the groin cast.

by The Nobody. January 29, 2009


Schwing Demon

The most attractive woman in the vicinity. Also the highest way to describe a woman in the schwing caste system. Schwing, Schwinger, SCHWING DEMON

Dude look at that chick over there! She is a schwing demon!
Schwing Demons are swinging from ceiling at this joint!

by ChrisTomato September 15, 2009

8๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


schwing-schwong

The male reproductive organ.

My schwing-schwong hurts.

by Economilx June 29, 2006

34๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


negative schwing

When a female is so unnattractive that the male anatomy actually attempts to hide itself to avoid detection.

T-roy: Tony, your girlfriend looks like Garth from Wayne's World!
Tony: So?
G-Lo: Well when she was at the bar last night, she was causing much negative schwing!

by G Lo September 21, 2004

8๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž