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The item you purchase when you can't afford Lockheed's torpedo prices
"Was that Warhead?" "No, that was a Tesco torpedo"
A common term used to describe Chinese people who illegally infringe copyright laws and produce CD/DVD's for a very cheap price and then sell them also for a cheap price near a Tesco shop but they make a profit.
Film Director: "That Chinaman of Tesco is stealing all my profits."
Chinaman of Tesco: Ching Chang Chong Ching I speak only London
21👍 14👎
when one produces an extremely horse shoe shaped shit that is long enough to circumnavigate the bowl without breakage. there is also a worrying absence of shit rags!
B DOGGG: alex viner of 3 school street askam in furness curled out a fucking tesco turd! he fucking loved it
14👍 11👎
When one or more persons take a completely random journey to a tesco supermarket, past the GMT time of 2300 hours for irrelavant items.
The time is 23:15, family guy has finished and your now bored. You feel like Tesco flighting so you drive to the 24/7 tesco just to get out the house. You spend your loose change on pointless items such as magic trees for your car or guyliner.
6👍 3👎
Newton Aycliffe, in the north east of England has one of the most infamous parks period.
Tesco park, also referred to as ‘chav central’, has hosted many seshes and fights. Although it’s actual name is unknown, Tesco park has earned its name from it’s location - next to Tesco. Many patrons have been known to acquire scran and then ‘pop to Tesco park’ to meet with other like minded individuals.
Chav1 “Where we meeting?”
Chav2 “Where d’ya think, Tesco park has the mad crack.”
Chav1 “How was I supposed to know?”
Chav2 “Les have a scrap then. One on one ya cheeky bastard, don’t get smart with me.”
Chav1 “I’ll hav ya! Just let es put it on me snap first.”
* the chavs gathered their mushes and birds and scrapped outside Tesco to assert dominance even though they couldn’t remember why they were arguing*
The punitive price premium charged on some products by Tesco supermarkets for customers without a loyalty card. Tesco is the UK's largest grocery chain with 28% market share.
"I paid £1 extra in Tesco tax on the ice cream because I didn't have my clubcard."
"You can opt out of tracking cookies for free online, but the Tesco tax means you need to be rich to do so offline as well."
"I went to Sainsbury's instead to avoid the Tesco tax."
General cunts who lie & misinform
Another scheming Tesco mobile worker