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A university department from which you can get a degree in being offended.
Person 1: Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Person 2: Hm?
P 1: I saw that, and I'm not going to take it quietly, for your information.
P 2: I'm sorry?
P 1: Yeah, I'll make you sorry. You looked at me. As a woman of size, I know that only means one thing - you're fat shaming me!
P 2: Uhhh... No, I...
P 1: Not only that, but I have problems with my hips because of my big, beautiful, healthy size, so you're also being a filthy ableist.
P 2: Huh? What's an ableist?
P 1: Look at you, standing there in all your white male heteronormativity, judging me silently with your eyes. I'll have you know that my great-great-grandmother on my father's side was half Cherokee.
P 2: Uh, that's cool...
P 1: No, that is not "cool". You don't get to tell me that's "cool" and fetishize me as an Indigenous person of color when you are a colonizing occupier on this, my sacred tribal land!!
P 2: Look, I think you are misunderstanding this whole thing...
P 1: "You"? "YOU"??? My pronouns most pointedly do not include the word "you"!! That is a form of gendered violence against me. And don't dare tell me it's not, because I have a Master's degree in Critical Theory and I'm wise to every single microaggression coming off of your hateful, oppressive person. Now get out of here before I call the police!
P 2. Okay, okay fine. Just finish making the latte I ordered and I'll take it to go.
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Theory that states in cases where a woman has small breasts, this is compensated for by her having a nice ass. This theory does not necessarily work in reverse.
"Ah, her tits are too small!"
"Yeah, but check out her ass."
"Hmm. Theory of compensation, eh."
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The phenomenon that causes females to be inexplicably attracted to a random male, like moths to a flame. The art of seduction, commonly referred to as "The Duncan theory'', can have a tremendous effect on the victim.
Also known as "The Duncan Theorem"
The inexplicable phenomenon that causes females to be drawn to a single male (The Duncan) in droves.
The strength at which females are attracted is equal to the grade of symmetry of his face multiplied by the pitch of his voice, and reversed to his age divided by the concentration of his natural pheromones.
I lost my gf due to some guy named Duncan. I swear he just looked at her and she instantaneously became overwhelmingly wet... Hashtag The Duncan Theory
That new Duncan kid looked at me today, I felt a strong magnetic force pulling me closer to him, as my knickers got wet, he spoke "Hey Jenny" ... I swear to god I almost exploded #TheDuncanTheory
The idea on Wall Street that the socially acceptable length of women's skirts will reveal the state of the stock market.
Low skirts at the ankles mean the country is swaying towards a conservative, bear market. (1930s)
High skirts above the knee mean the country is in a free spirited and aggressvie bull market. (1980s)
Physics propose the existence of a medium.
Even with the particles retarding the motion of the aether theories, the same will be true if, to counterbalance the increased inertia, suitable forces are caused to act on the aether at all points where the inertia is altered.
A name for most/all generic modern rock on the radio. Characterized by raspy vocals, forgettable guitar riffs, and big, catchy choruses.
Change the channel, some Theory of a nickelcreed just came on.
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The theory that the internet phrase lol,meaning "laugh out loud", can be placed at any part in any sentence and make said sentence lose all credibilty and seriousness.
ex 1
Doc: We need to operate on your colon lol, you have cancer.
ex 2
Jesus: Take this all of you and eat it, it is my body, lol.
ex 3
Me: Will you marry me? Lol.
^Lol theory in action
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