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A jet of diarrhea that comes out at such a velocity that, upon hitting the water in the toilet bowl, causes water and/or liquid fecal matter to splash back up onto the buttocks or anus. This stream from the bowl often resembles a bidet, but only serves to make a mess rather than clean.
"Sorry I used all your toilet paper, but I had a lot to clean up after the brown bidet."
Cleaning one's nether regions by dipping said regions in a stream of running water, such as a creek or a storm drain on a rainy day.
"Dude, I had to take a dump, but couldn't find any TP, so I went out to the creek and did a sluice bidet."
When a girl squirts while on her period.
Dude, "that girl totally trashed my sheets last night, with a rusty bidet ."
A lawn sprinkler used for personal hygiene.
Chris: Rocky, why are you all wet?
Rocky: Dude, while runnning I really had to go, went in the woods, had no TP, so I used that sprinkler as a yard bidet.
When you are on the toilet taking a dump, and a turd falls out and splashes piss water all over your anus.
After a long night at the bar, Mark went into it's restroom and was splashed by the Louisiana bidet.
A piss bidet is the post piss splash that occurs when taking a dump that washes your ass of faecal matter.
I just went to unpack the luggage and got a piss bidet for my efforts.
When you are taking a shit and the water splashes back at your brown eye with the aim of a heat seeking missile.
John had to go home and shower after his morning dump turned into a devils bidet.