you can't shine shit

The subject of conversation, is in such dire condition that any attempt to fix it is futile. A variation of the expression you can't polish a turd.

delusional mayor: The Chamber of Commerce and I will revitalize downtown Hazleton.

honest person: You can't shine shit, Mr. Mayor!

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You can't fix douche

When a known douche tries to change something about himself but his inner douche still abundantly shines through.

Darrell lost 100 pounds and looks pretty good, but you can't fix douche.

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You can't possibly be flying

A statement following the exclamation, "Oh My GOD!", that one is most likely to hear after throwing one's self at the ground and missing. See throw yourself at the ground and miss.

If you have thrown yourself at the ground and missed, it is vitally important that you do not believe the statement, "you can't possibly be flying", when you hear it. Otherwise, you will suddenly discover that it is true.

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You can't teach class

When one has been blessed by certain individuals to grace them with HOW YOU SHOULD BE.

I'm sorry, you can bring a goat to water but you can't teach class.

you can't hold water

Means you can't keep any secrets period

OMG I told Alyssa to keep the engagement a secret but she blew the surprise. I told her "you can't hold water damn"

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You can't smell me

Slogan spraypainted on Cena's john

You can't smell me

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You can't beat the Internet

A phrase that means if a person tries to prove something with the Internet.

Guy 1: I don't think it's bad to eat late at night.

Guy 2: It says in here that it is bad. You might gain weight too.

Guy 1: I don't care, it's just some random website.

Guy 2: Man, it's the Internet. You can't beat the Internet.

Guy 1: I guess you're right.

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