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When someone particularly lazy and/or fat is assigned a task in which they have decided is too hard. They solve the problem by lying on the ground and whining/moaning resembling a beached whale. OR when one or more lazy fat people watch a more fit, less lazy person do work.
Example 1: The Freshman P.E. class got the beached whale Syndrome when they were told to run the mile.
Example 2: I couldn't answer my phone because my boss got beached whale syndrome
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A rather large person who is "strung out" on PCP and various other narcotics.
Cincinnatti police found a beached whale and decided to club it to death, having no easy access to baby seals.
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When a fat chick makes you cum by rubbing your dick with the fat of her stomach.
Dude. I just got a beached whale job.
It was pretty gnarly before I threw up.
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A couple (especially of college age) that has settled down and consistently pushes away all of their other friends so they can spend all their time together in a relationship. Often times this happens to close friends, and the relationship can mess up even the tightest of friendships over time.
"Man! Todd and Patricia are such a beached whale couple! Todd turned me down multiple times to go to stardollars with her! He used to be my friend!"
"Friend 1: Todd, why don't you hang out with your bro's anymore?
Todd: I don't have bro time so that I can have hoe time!
Friend 1: But what about that trip we planned? And bro's before hoes?
Todd: What trip?
Friend 1: You know, the trip to New York we've been planning for so long?
Todd: Oh, I'm planning that trip with Patricia. Sorry man!
Friend 1: You're in a beached whale relationship, then. I thought we were friends!
Todd: Yeah I'd rather be with Patricia, and my other friends don't matter to me anymore.
Friend 1: How selfish! Well, let me know if you change your mind. Have a good life!
Todd: Oh, I will!"
The moment in which you now no longer resemble a human being but look more like a beached whale ready to take its eternal rest. protocal requires you to update you facebook status to read "beached whale status", but chances are your not gonna get it up there.
**You are now at the point of no return, you will not move for the rest of the night unless there is an emergency**
idiot: yo hand me my phone
You: dude i cant im beached whale status right now
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when you whipe your ass and strategicly place the toilet paper on the dry part of the toilet bowl so it surprises the next user and generly needs assistance to get flushed
my wife was pissed i left a beached whale for her
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N. In the same category as the awkward turtle, awkward flag, and awkward moose, the awkward beached whale is the act of placing one's palms face-down on-top-of each other, such that the thumbs stick out to either side. The individual then proceeds to alternately wiggle the thumbs. For maximum awkwardness, proceed to make sounds similar to that of the blue whale.
V. To do as described above.
Person 1: "Wow, I feel awkward."
Multiple People: "Hmm, not us. I guess it's just you."
Person 1: *Does awkward beached whale hand motions*
"Whooo...oahhhh....wahooah"
*Feels exceedingly less awkward*
Multiple People: "Wow, we feel awkward now."
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