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The frenzied orgy of extreme acquisition that is the natural result of asking Americans to spend an entire day attempting to be grateful for what they already have.
A team of wild demon horses couldn't drag me to the mall on Black Friday.
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Black Friday:
Sociological-Pathological phenomena of American people trampling others for unneeded things one day after being thankful for what they already have…
"Joe camped out for two days in front of the Computer store on Black Friday..."
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The day bitches go crazy at Walmart for 3 dollar waffle makers.
*on Black Friday*
Walmart employee: *opens doors*
People in line: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!ASDFGHJKLLLL!
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The day after Thanksgiving when millions of people stand in line at various retailers and act like retards.
I hate Black Friday. Should be called Wack Friday.
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The day when mankind proves yet again that humans will literally kill someone for a Blu-ray player.
The day after Thanksgiving, a shit ton of retards grab their sleeping bags and tents and flock to the entrance of the Walmart at midnight, waiting for the store to open at around 4AM.
The nanosecond that the doors swing open, you better brace yourself, because the apocalypse has begun. Within seconds, some douchebag who ABSOLUTELY MUST be first in line will plow through the massive crowd, stepping on children and endangering the lives of other humans and sprinting down the aisles looking for the TV section.
Every year, someone gets pushed over, and everyone just tramples all over them, paying no mind to the wellbeing of the adults and sometimes little children that suffer injury from the greedy little bastards that participate in this day.
If you want to shop at all on Black Friday, you'd best do it at the crack of dawn, because by 10AM every last item on the shelf will be gone.
And if by some divine miracle you're able to make it out of the train wreck at the front door with all of your body parts intact, you have to fucking fly to get to the things you want.
As soon as you reach for that flat screen, some greedy asshole will punch you square in the face and take it right from you. That's how ignorant and retarded the people of the world are these days.
And yet, the stores still celebrate this day.
Just shop online on Black Friday. You won't have to put up with any retards if you order from Amazon.
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To be mobbed or overrun by an onward surge of crazed shoppers/zombies - possibly resulting in grave or serious bodily harm.
Schlomo: My goodness, Saul, why are you in a wheelchair?
Saul: Well Schlomo, I was standing first-in-line for the special midnight Walmart opening to buy the Collector's Edition of Trailer Park Barbie. When doors swung open, I was suddenly "Black-Fridayed" down the aisle by rushing crowd of crazed little old ladies and overweight fat leg-ged women with 2 children in tow. Being overrun, I fell to floor and was stepped on, trampled at, and treated like dirt. SO! Lesson is: Never be first in line at a Black Friday sale!
Shlomo: Oh, didja get the Barbie?
Saul: ... ... ... Thanks fer askin' ...
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Black Friday - The day %75 of retail workers want to murder themselves. As they look at the clock that says 11:55 P.M. They're nervous because they're about to face the time when 3,000 stupid mother fuckers come in trampling one another for pointless half price bullshit like a fucking like a toothbrush. Half of these disgusting fat fucks smell like Satans shit pit, on they're way to buy some deodorant that you can obviously tell they hadn't wore for 8 fucking years. Of course, you also have India's population full of fucking retards waiting out side of Best buy and GameStop to get a video game $25 off, or the greatest ever taller and 1mm thinner newest fucking IPhone in which they'll either crack the screen, leave it in their pants when they put it in the washer, get some virus by watching a fuck ton of porn, or Apple will just make a new taller and thinner "Cutting technology" iPhone in another 3 months. So they chunk the one they murdered a pregnant lady and 4 small children to get off a cliff and buy the new one for $1500. All of this happens ironically after the day we admitting that we are thankful for everything we have.
*BREAKING NEWS* a 76 year old lady was killed on Black Friday by a 32 year old man while arguing over who gets the last (insert useless item)"
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