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Barty Crouch

A character in the Harry Potter universe, thought to be fictional until he surfaced on facebook, apparently seeking his master Lord Voldemort. Assumed dead after receiving the Dementor's Kiss, Crouch was revealed to be alive and well, convinced that he had located his erstwhile master at Pembroke College, Oxford. Crouch has since risen to prominence in Pembroke society, antagonising students and facing an uncertain future after his 'master' refused to acknowledge him. It is believed Crouch has been reported to facebook authorities several times for numerous offences, including bullying, racism and sexual harrassment of his master.

Despite being unpopular with VoldeMort, Crouch has become 'friends' with many Pembrokians; he appears disinterested, though, his only correspondence with these pupils limited to petty insults (in slurs which normally relate to what he perceives as their inferior blood status).
Still convinced, though, that he has finally located his master at Pembroke College, Crouch shows no signs of wanting to disappear from the public eye.

Barty Crouch told me to vote for Tom Riddle in the OUSU Presidential elections. He said if I didn't, an army of imperiused muggles would "punch me 'til I bleed"

by Johnty12 December 7, 2009


crouching sapnap

crouching callahan is better smh

"crouching sapnap"
"get him"

by yeahhhhno May 15, 2021


crouch lump

The lump of protrusion that a man gets whenever he wears swim suits or basketball shorts. The lump is caused by the person's penis and can become quite an embarrassment/irritant for people who are self-conscious.

Man 1: Dude I have a major crouch lump right now
Man 2: Don't worry, nobody cares
Man 1: But dude it's so bulgy.

by HurpDerpHerpDurp July 26, 2010

6๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Crouch Rape

A bit like yawn rape.
The act of pushing someone over, who is in the crouched position.. thus crouch raping them.
Also whilst doing this, you must say "crouch rape."

As person1 crouched down, person2 then pushed person1 over and yelled "crouch rape"

by LOL-lipop October 22, 2010

8๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


peter crouch

Bloody good footballer who is 6ft 6" and performs with some bloody good headers. Crouchy plays for Liverpool FC and England, and he's rather good.

Peter Crouch, what a legend.

by Raphael June 18, 2006

53๐Ÿ‘ 29๐Ÿ‘Ž


crouching tiger

a term used for girls needing to squat to pee. hidden dragon is the peeping tom.

My homegirl needed to do the crouching tiger out on the side of the road since we were too far away from an actually restroom.

by constar630 August 6, 2009

28๐Ÿ‘ 17๐Ÿ‘Ž


jump crouch

The act of jumping and systematically crouching almost instantaneously after, usually to reach a higher objective/platform then previously unattainable. It is also a common tactic used in most FPS games to dodge bullets in combat and make themselves harder to track. Though, it is impossible to perform in real life.

Most recent games penalize jumping by making a player temporarily slower after the aformentioned action, making the Jump Crouch tactic much less effective and mostly rendered a last ditch effort. Though, mastery of this skill will have you spinning circles around your enemies.

Dragonforce43 Jump crouched up onto that ledge

Spartan2560 Jump Crouched and got me!!1!

OMG! u dont know how 2 jump crouch? fag lol

by CommandoDude February 8, 2008

11๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž