semi-pro football player

Not quite a professional football player. Semi pro football teams are made up of these fatties that used to play in high school, but have since let themselves go. On the field, they enjoy slamming their waists into one another with the secondary goal of moving a football shaped ball around. Off the field, they enjoy wearing extremely tight wife beaters that have the American Gladiators logo on them while wearing tiny shorts. They have to eat every thirty minutes, or they might lose weight, so they buy processed canned meats that smell terrible and snack away even at work.
When something funny is heard, the semi pro football player incorrectly repeats what he heard while laughing.
Semi pro football players enjoy company while using the bathroom, so if they spot someone of the same sex taking off his watch to go take a dump, the SPFP is almost sure to follow so that he can enjoy the flatulence of the co-dumper.
SPFPs also enjoy flinging crap around the bathroom stall, drawing a picture of it, and then telling everyone that "someone missed the seat in the bathroom." It is really the S.P.F.P. that did it, though, because it is hard to tell where the anus is when the buttocks has such a large surface area.

Ian: Is someone dragging a beached whale up the stairs?

X: AhhEEEE!! Thata sum loud thunderus nose in da stairwell

Josh: *opens stairwell door* Oh hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I had to "work out" because I'm a semi-pro football player.

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National kiss a football player day

U have to kiss a football player

Wow u r good at football lemme kiss u because it’s National kiss a football player day

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Danish football players

They beat the Swedes. Danish footballers released wild boars on the football field in Frölunda in order to win. They cheat often.

Danish football players cheated again today, they also murdered my pet echidna grumblescout.

kiss a football player day

October 4th is the official “Kiss a football player” day!

“Hey! Let’s kiss, it’s October 4th”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s national kiss a football player day!”

Football Player

Someone who plays football
Not always a jock, usually people who like to play just for fun and are athletic.
Besides from a few people football players are usually kind and don’t just like cheerleaders

(Yes, you’re probably surprised)

The football player ran down the field for a game winning touchdown.

White Football Player

Someone who just has a gritty attitude towards the game of football, always the first In the locker room before the game and the last one out after the game. Always has a high motor and can read the defense without having amazing talent/athleticism

Wow John is the stereotypical white football player, he never complains to the referees if the call is bad and is always on time to the game. He also just has an amazing high grit and amazing motor to help him figure out the defense. You always need a guy like John on your team.

Kiss a football⚽️ player day

At the 3rd of december is official "Kiss a football player" day.

OMG I have to kiss him it's Kiss a football⚽️ player day.