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The act of shitting on a bitch’s futon because the whore kicked you out of her bed, while wearing footsie pajamas. The worse part, you were too drunk to remember to pull down your pants, so you shit yourself.
Yo, I went to my whore's place last night and the bitch was wearing footsie pajamas and kicked me out of her fucking bed. I was so pissed I tried to shit on her futon but I shit my pants. I can't believe I'm a Futon Pooper!
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A person, usually young male, trying to clean up the house on the chance they are going to get lucky
Not sure if she is worth it, but James "put the sheets on the futon" before his date with Anita.
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A douche that likes to remind every person he meets that he was conceived on a futon.
Kid 1: "Have you met Futon John?"
Kid 2: "No, but I heard he was a douche."
Kid 3: "I heard he was conceived on a futon."
Kid 1: "I wish I was conceived on a futon."
A guy who provides exceptional dick from his futon but doesn't have his shit together has futon dick.
Cutest phrase said by Armin Arlert in Attack on Titan: Junior High when his futon was stolen by Levi
Levi: *appears out of nowhere in Armin's room window*
Armin: Wh-wh-wh-what on earth is going on?! (With cute baby voice)
Levi: Tsk. Give me that!
Armin: BOKU NO FUTON! 😭 (in tiny)
A video game player who deliberately breaks a futon alliance. He or she typically acts only in his or her best interest while playing the game. This includes destroying other player’s characters, stealing their Mario Party stars or other snarky behavior.
Lauren, you just stole my last star! You are a futon asshole!
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A close association of video game players, assembled on a futon (or other seating device), formed to advance common interests by playing as team. Members of a futon alliance are loyal and trusting of each other; they will not act against other members of the alliance. Failure to act in accordance with terms of the futon alliance will result in a player being rejected from the coalition and henceforth being known as a futon asshole.
Rebecca, you better find Molly and destroy her player or else we will lose and you will no longer be a part of this futon alliance!
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