The affliction of spending too much time boogie boarding, or sea activities until it inflicts you with a case of kelp in or on your genitalia. Whilst looking and smelling horrible, it somehow fascinates the females of the species.
Tobes: Migs, come on man - stop surfing we've got to go hit the bar for TSBs!!
Migs: Nah man, chicks will dig my Kelp Dick ! Give us ten minutes
When a woman does not wash her genitals for an extended period of time, which causes her pubes to become matted, resembling long strands of kelp. It will likely cause the smell to resemble a trash-riddled kelp forest.
I went home with Trashy Tracy™ last night when when I got hammered. She had the nastiest California Kelp Forest, even worse than Nasty Natalie™
Means stop sucking dick. In spongebob, theres an episode where the krusty krab sells Kelp drinks and it shows spongebob slurping on the straw, so it means stop slurping on dick.
Matthew: "Oh my god Nathan, you have the best handles and the best shot in basketball and youre really good."
Nathan: "Thanks?"
Nick: "Put down the kelp matthew, jheeez"
An admittedly unusual, special Bob's Burgers burger that features kelp
"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Not If I Can Kelp It Burger, you should try it!"
To make someone’s ass so wet it remind you of underwater cabbage
“I wanna kelp your ass so bad tonight” said Tom
(noun) A substance that many Jamaicans and hippies smoke. Commonly known as marijuanna or weed.
Jamaican guy 1:Yo mon, you got any o' dat spongebob kelp mon?
Jamaican guy 2:Yes, mon lets smoke it mon.
Happy Jamaican people :)
Kelp is a cute individual on Instagram with an android he gets all the hoes.
Where is Kelp memes
He’s probably with Nancy recreating the jar scene