Random
Source Code
Random
A manlet is a male, too short to be considered a man. Any male shorter than 5ft10 is a manlet. A manlet suffers from manletism, a devastating condition which gives rise to the Napoleon complex that afflicts all manlets. The only cure for manletism is for the infected manlet to embrace his inherent effeminacy and become a manmore's prison wife.
Look at that silly, little manlet boy, prancing around in high heels over there! The sissy manlet is probably on his way to visit his prison daddy!
2429👍 1👎
Manlets are males who are shorter than 5ft10. They suffer from manletism and can often be found futilely lifting weights in the local manlet pit, in a hilarious attempt at increasing their nonexistent masculinity or prancing around town in high heels after embracing their inherent effeminacy.
Look at those silly manlets tussling over a pair of high heels over there! Oh, I thought they were just a bunch of little girls...
The necessary self-deception every manlet engages in on a daily basis in order not to be driven to madness by the overwhelming misery of manletism. Humorously, by constantly and utterly deluding himself, the coping manlet only further inflates his already ginormous Napoleon complex, which leads to well-deserved public ridicule and disgrace. This then results in an intensification of the manlet cope. It's a manletism-induced vicious circle. Manlets, when will they learn?
Coping turbo-manlet: I'm actually glad that I'm not 6ft4. Occasionally bumping my head on door frames would totally suck! I'm lucky to be 5ft2 (starts crying). Superior manmore: Just lol at you - that's pure manlet cope! I can just lower my head. Good luck growing up, you delusional, little manlet boy - hahahahaha!
The cerebrally and physically stunted myopic manlet is a microscopic mental midget of a minuscule manlet boy, who shortsightedly sees only the literally subhuman suffering of his own small-minded dwarven kind because, due to his eternal inability to grow up and be the bigger man, big picture thinking goes right over his pea-brained, little head. Deceased myopic manlets can often be found squashed flat as a pancake on country roads next to their close relative the, by comparison majestic, toad. Myopic manlets can easily be driven to venting their pent-up manlet rage and throwing a hissy fit with innocent questions and observations, such as: "Manlet detected.", "Nice high heels, my girlfriend has the same pair.", "Are you classified as a turbo-manlet? How tall are you?", "Aren't you the midget who played the manletservant Nick Nack in The Man with the Golden Gun?"
Manmore 1: Hey, why is that little girl crying in front of that beauty salon? Manmore 2: Myopic manlet detected. I think his new acrylic nails broke off when he got mauled by that chihuahua over there. Manmore 1: Lol, the victorious chihuahua even took the sissy manlet's high heels! Manmore 2: Manlets rise up!
A grotesquely gnomish gaggle of ganged-up, overcompensating turbo-manlets who have, in a childish, desperate and doomed attempt at overcoming their crippling manletism, decided to form a midget gang. Once a diminutively dwarfed new recruit has been sexed-into the gang, it is mandatory for him to participate in typical gang activities, for example: tagging up turf by spray-painting garden gnomes at knee height onto garbage cans and pet doors, drinking Tall Boys and huffing Jenkem, prancing around naked except for high heels and assless chaps in their hobbit-hole of a gang hideout while towel snapping each other's posteriors in an effort to toughen themselves up, telling deeply embarrassing tall tales about how they used to be the biggest kid in preschool, injecting themselves with stolen bovine somatotropin in a futile and injudicious bid at escaping their inevitable fate of becoming a prison wife manlet once caught by the law and incarcerated and frantically praying in front of the countless Randy Newman posters adorning the walls of the manlet pit in their hobbit-hole gang hideout while repetitively reciting the lyrics of their favorite song Short People due to their shared obsession with the delusional hope of being blessed with an adult-onset growth spurt by their beloved God and hero Saint Newman.
Jessica: Lol, why are there a bunch of garden gnomes standing on the corner over there? Olivia: It's just a Short People manlet gang. Here, take my magnifying glass and have a closer look. Can you see that they got little hands, little eyes, that they walk around tellin' great big lies? They got little noses and tiny little teeth. Unsurprisingly they wear platform shoes on their nasty, little feet. Jessica: Oh yeah, they got little baby legs and they stand so low - I'd have to pick one of them up just to say hello! Olivia: Well, I don't want no short people 'round here. Jessica: Short people got no reason.
The military manlet is an overcompensating manlet boy who, in a fit of Napoleon complex-induced insanity, has signed up for active duty with the United States Armed Forces. Here the useless and effeminate manlets are generally used as cannon fodder when deployed in the absurd spectacle known as the manlet wave attack tactic, but can also be traded as war brides, serve as portable human shields or can be used as an emergency fortification when stacked up as a barricade in lieu of sandbags. The military manlet is always keen to raise the morale of the actual soldiers in his platoon by donning an Oompa Loompa costume and dancing a merry jig atop a mess hall table as the surrounding military manlets clap in unison while dancing in a circle like the fairies that they are and all the manmores pelt him with height boosting insoles. As an encore Manletlyn Monroe performs smash hits such as "High Heels Are A Manlets Best Friend" and "Bye Bye Masculinity" to further entertain the troops.
Why is that pantsed military manlet lying face down in the mud over there? The silly sissy manlet broke one of his high heels while prancing around on the obstacle course and threw a hissy fit, so the real soldiers just left him there. Never leave a man behind - that obviously doesn't apply to manlets.
A hollaback manlet is a petite and effeminate, little manlet princess (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by his overpowering manletism-induced small man syndrome, that the perpetually petulant and preposterously puny, girlishly gnomish runt of an Oompa Loompa Ewok sissy manlet fairy instantly erupts into comically childish manlet rage at even the slightest provocation (real or imagined by the quarrelsome manlet queen). Known for throwing hissy fits when asked to sit at the kid's table at family gatherings, crying himself to sleep every night because the microscopically minuscule midget monstrosity is even shorter than Gwen Stefani and furiously engaging in extremely embarrassing public verbal manletspeak catfights with other hunched hollaback manlets because all of the scandalously stunted sissy manlets are hopelessly in love with the same massive and magnificent manmore, the haplessly hateful hollaback manlet never falls short of radically raising the bar for mortifying manlet cope and devastatingly delusional mental midget manlet mathematics. Chris "Bagel Boss Manlet" Morgan is the perfect example of the hilarious consequences that inevitably occur when a high heels wearing hollaback manlet feels slighted in even the tiniest and most insignificant way, if only for the shortest amount of time.
Myopic manlet: Uh-huh, this my shit, all the manlets stomp your tiny feet like this... Manmore: Manlet detected. Halt! Instantly cease your manletspeak and scarf down your high heels before I perform a citizen's arrest by stuffing you into this half-empty cigarette packet! Don't make me call the Manlet Detection Agency, you spinelessly subhuman, short people got no reason, halfling Homunculus hollaback manlet!