can't host

when you obviously can't host for a sexual encounter because your family members/partners are in the same house as you, most likely for long periods of time. This also signifies that you don't have your own place and feel like driving

person 1: i can host, you can come over now
person 2: cool omw
someone walks in the house
person 1: sry change of plans can't host
person 2: wtf im already halfway down the road!!

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can't be assed

can't be bothered with

do you want to go out tonight?
No, I can't be assed

83👍 20👎

Clark Can't

Robert Mueller; coined by Bill Maher, April 26, 2019.

I get it, Mueller’s a Boy Scout, a straight arrow, he played it by the book, but you may have noticed for the last three years, we’ve kind of been off book. Greatness sometimes means not doing everything by the book.

We needed Superman and we got Clark Can't.

45👍 25👎

can't be asked

Used by some Southern UK speakers in place of can't be arsed because they misheard it, or want to be more polite.

"I can't be asked to tidy my room - I'll do it tomorrow."

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can't even

What a white girl says under stress and requires Starbucks immediately.

After hearing Lazaro's long speech about nothing in general, Ms.Feshbach picked up her Cool Lime Starbucks Refresher and walked out the class and said "I can't even"

45👍 10👎

Can't sleep?

If you don't sleep, make sure you don't take any pills, and go outside often, fresh air will come in handy. It’s even better if you think of fond memories before bed, and something that makes you happy. If you still can’t fall asleep, and feel tired, and reluctant, see a doctor, it may be something more serious.

Can't sleep? See this text through.

Can't Even

1. A sarcastic phrase of the Modern White Girl. Used when surprised, pleased, scared, happy or pissed off. Usually is used in context with "literally" or "oh my gosh".
2. The act of "can't evening"

Person 1: look at this text I got from him
Person 2: I can't even

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