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A deep, obsessive concern with unanswered questions about the meaning of life and existence, resulting in the disruption of one's daily life and characterized by long or short-lasting bouts of apathy and depression.
"Dude, what's up with Steve?"
"He's been reading a lot of Nietzsche and watching How the Universe Works on the Discovery Channel, now he's having an existential crisis."
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A one-way conversation wherein the passive participant cannot break away from the one who is speaking, despite the tediously protracted passage of time. This is a common manifestation of fucktardation.
The 'hostage taker' often falls into (but is certainly not limited to) one of these categories:
1. the drunk person with whom one is barely acquainted, but who adamantly refuses to recognize their lack of a substantial past connection with the hostage and continues to shout about themselves over whatever noise is happening at the bar/club/concert/tractor pull
2. a person who has experienced a recent break-up, and feels compelled to verbally re-hash the experience ad nauseum
3. someone who habitually takes otherwise harmless small talk to the worst possible extreme, talking the ear off of anyone who will listen about insubstantial trivia because they cannot comprehend the beauty of conversational brevity
person one: "Hey Dangus, how did things go at your family reunion?"
person two: "Sketchy! I got spotted by my drunk-ass aunt...the bitch talked my ear off for an hour about her divorce, like I give a shit...her crackhead ex is probably getting his fudge tunnel reamed in some sketch pad right now. The hostage crisis went on for so long that I was getting desperate...so I farted really loud on purpose while she was talking, and then remarked, 'HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID?' The lush's mouth dropped open and I bailed...crisis averted!"
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When a normally clean shaven man forgoes shaving during a crisis, so that others around him know that he is fully engaged in resolving the crisis and not worrying about minor things like hygiene
The situation must be serious, because Bob is developing one heck of a crisis beard.
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When, after giving oral sex to a woman with a hairy vagina, the dude has a few pubic hairs stuck in his teeth.
I had a job interview that I thought went great. I did not get the job and when I got to my car I looked at my face in the rear view mirror and saw a bunch of pubic hairs in my teeth. I realized this is why i failed in my interview. After giving Sophia head before my interview I forgot to check my mouth and floss. This fucking hairpie crisis caused me to blow my interview!
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It's when you begin to question meaning of life; meaning of your existence
I'm having an existential crisis; Everyone I know is going to die....I'm so alone in the world.
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When you binge watch five or more seasons of a TV show which is no longer on the air, and question the very foundations of your life when the series is finally over.
A deep feeling of futility and depression.
"Louise why have you been laying motionless in bed for five hours."
"I finished the final season of Desperate Housewives and now I am having a netflixistential crisis"
The true crisis in Trump’s first formal televised speech of his administration which is that he is an asshole.
It is not a crisis of the heart or soul, or a crisis at the US border, but a crisis of the hole that is plaguing the United States.
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