Rural Dictionary

Tom cruise

Noun:

Hollywood dwelling Sciencetologist creature that jumps on couches and spawns deformed children.

"Damn! Tom Cruise was really good in Rain Man!"

"Yeah, but ever sense he started banging Katie Holms and couches, I must say that he sucks ass."

by I swear to drunk, I'm not God! October 25, 2006

61👍 31👎

I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)

The above was a party political broadcast on behalf of Tom Cruise.

by Fearman April 16, 2008

49👍 23👎

Tom Cruise

Fag scientologist, who jumps on couches, and can't make fun of his religion. he is a horrible actor and the only good movies he has been in is War of the Worlds and Mission Impossible 1, he needs to loosen up and understand that aliens are not controlling us...........god is

Tom Cruise is a homo

by 73849 April 17, 2006

163👍 94👎