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A man that lived 2000 years ago who was either one of three things
1) The messiah, Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God who made the earth and performs miracles.
2) A crazy guy that claimed he was the messiah.
3) A man who pulled off the biggest hoax in worlds history, for he has influenced so many people of the world to believe in him and to live a good life.
Dude: "Dude Jesus is a beast at being God".
Other Dude: Na i think he was actually just a crazy raging alcholic.
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to be the ultimate master at an activity you are participating in, or to be the ultimate victor in any type of game or skill competition
holy shit, you whooped my ass your freaking Jesus
man your the greatest graffiti artist ever let your name be known, Jesus
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The Chris Angel of his day. He was such a celebrity he had 12 of his bitches write down whatever he did. The National Roman Socialists Party was jelious that he was stealing their popularity so they had him jumped by a bunch of lower-class jews who deny their own faith and hanged on a lowercase T, for Trumph. Jesus' fans got pissed and went on a hungerstrike. Meanwhile Jesus was being a pimp with them islams in caves aranging a blow job and got as high as possible and they all passed out. Jesus woke up 3 days later. He invented the infamous Barry Bonds who helped over throw Rome, later joining Castro. Bonds denied that he participated in a rebellion and genocide in court. Jesus refused interviews and smited those persistent fellers. Jesus is now spending time on the psHome. Bonds is rotting in jail.
Chris Angel- Ive been beaten by Jesus ON THE CHARTS!
Castro-Fuck you, he helped me!
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An ancient Philosopher and possibly savior who had a pretty decent message while alive- be nice, forgive, help those less fortunate than you. Very little is known about this man's personal life because he never wrote down anything so far as we can tell, and the four friends of his who wrote stuff about him did so decades after he whipped, humiliated, stabbed, nailed to a cross shaped object, and eventually died from the agony. Had twelve close followers one of whom betrayed him, plus a whole pack of deciples including his mother and an ex-prostitute who may or may not have been his wife. Actually may have also been attempting to start a jewish rebellion against the roman imperialist dictators, though this was probablye editted out of the scritures to make Romans convert. His early followers were a pretty nice bunch cosidering that they were skinned alive, tied to poles and shot full of arrows, whipped, stoned, crucified upsidedown, and made into human cat food in the colliseum with lions. His later followers sadly were homicidal nuts and began slaughtering innocent Jews and Muslims, and occasionally each other. This started to change around the 1900's, and was almost perfectly reformed by the 1970's with Jesus Christ Superstar when sadly a group of vile liars calling themselves undamentalists distorted his image into a hate mongering fanatic, causing comunist govts. like North Korea to ban him and turning many people away from him. The fact that some of his closest followers raped altar servers and that his name was attached to Jacko's "Juice" probably pissed him off. If alive today, he'd be chillin in jamaica with stoners or playing in the NBA as Steve Nash and MLB as Johnny Damon. Oh wait, he is. And he'd shut up Creed for good.
Jesus- Do unto others as you would have them do unto your self
Crackpot Televangelist- Um, that means give me your social security money. And while you are at it, lynch a gay man or two. yeah, that's it.
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fake bitch that ppl hype up to much and should forget abt his mythical ass he is irrelevant and is wasting everyone's time.
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jesus is a really sweet guy and loyal he'll always be there when you need him whenever you need someone to talk to he's the guy you should talk to.
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