Loch Mess Monster

A term for large unattractive women. Usually having a reptilian or dinosaur look.

These women are usually very lonely and unintelligent.

Warning do not feed Loch Mess Monsters!!!

Rumour has it that all LMM's share a genetic marker
that can be traced right back to Nessy herself.

"THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE! *Points at Monster* THE LOCH MESS MONSTER EXISTS!"

"So this Loch Mess Monster jumps me while I was pissed, tries prying open my lips with her tongue, man. I was sure I was dino dinner. Lucky enough I had some bacon handy, tossed it away from me... never seen something so big run so fast."

"Shit man... loch mess monsters everywhere, lets bounce!"

"Quick!! rub yourself in shit, de guise your scent from the Loch mess Monster over there!!"

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mess around and find out

The mistake of taking a dare; and, immediately getting the negative results of the stupidly of taking that dare.
The karmic equivalent of crossing a city street when the pedestrian sign says “Don’t Walk”.

When you are in Yellow Stone National Park, don’t feed the bears and don’t wave at the buffaloes. You will become a causality! Mess around and find out!

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hot tranny mess

used to describe a 3/4 transgender, 3/4 jewish, 4/4 terrible lefty band.

The Shondes are a hot tranny mess.

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Shit in his Mess Kit

Mess Kit - A collection of silverware and cookware used during extended military campaigns.

Shit in ones Mess Kit - Military term meaning “to fuck oneself over”. Who in there right mind would shit in the very thing they are going to eat out of?

Jarhead: Wow! Bob really Shit in his Mess Kit when he told the Sergeant Jones he was a no load limp dick.
Other Jarhead: Yup...he is fucked!

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hot fresh mess

when someone is feeling horrible or looking real bad

"Ya'll see Sara today she looks a hot fresh mess."

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donkey girl scout mess

A problem of one's own making which is of truely epic proportions.

When Julie and Sarah decided to lie to their folks so they could go to the concert neither was allowed to attend, they created a donkey girl scout mess for themselves.

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Parents Red Mess

When your parents text eachother about sex and perform it while your mom has her period!

Oh God i went to my dads phone to see his messages and i saw he got one from mom saying "you want to fuck, cause it could be a "Parents Red Mess"

based on true story!!

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