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Conqueror's Wipe

When you have to really put some effort into passing a massive shit, and put one foot up on the bath to wipe your arse, having totally dominated the toilet.

After eating a 40oz steak the night before, it took GP half an hour to pass the results, but the Conqueror's Wipe afterwards was totally, totally justified

by Gronksucker March 27, 2019


Rage Wipe

When you're trying to wipe after taking a big poop but you just keep wiping poop and get so angry at the thought of you having to wipe so much that you wipe harder and faster; enough to make your butt hole bleed.

"Dude, I just took the biggest dump this morning and it felt so good but my arm is killing me now."

"Your arm? Why?"

" It was so messy and it wouldn't go away and it caused me to rage wipe for about 15 minutes."

by NotsosMom December 20, 2017


free-wiping

Using the left hand to clean oneself, also known as "free-wiping," is a traditional practice in some cultures, particularly in regions where water is the primary cleaning method. It is important to wash hands thoroughly with soap and water afterward to maintain hygiene.

There are potential benefits to this practice, such as reducing paper waste and costs and putting less strain on sewage treatment plants.

During the pandemic, my girlfriend and I ran out of toilet paper, so we had to resort to free-wiping. :(

by AkashicRecord April 19, 2023


marker wipe

When you wipe, wipe, and wipe a hundred times, but theres still poop. Its like you’re wiping a marker.

Sorry I’m late, I had the marker wipes!

by Qslammer November 15, 2017


Wipe Squash

When you’re in Wisconsin and you don’t wipe your butt efficiently, it results in an epic squash on your undies.

Hey, Marke! I noticed you had a wipe squash when you walked away.

by DonPitote May 16, 2019


insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter February 24, 2014


dick wipe

A brand of dispossible towels designed to be used to wipe your penis after a messy ejaculation when your lover is not allowing to suck excess semen from your face, and no blinds/bedclothes/curtians are at hand to fill this roll. Constructed from 100% cotton for that nice soft delicate penis wiping experience, and comes in a large range of aromatic and pleasing-to-the-nose smells...

''Aww shit, It's everywhere, Man I wish id bought a DICK WIPE

by James Foxhall February 28, 2005

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