condom farm

a secluded dark area in which after each time a couple experiences sexual intercourse the male partner will throw the freshly used condom. after some time the farm will grow to be rather plentiful so that when you are ready to break off relations with her you can be sure to transplant your crop to her face before she leaves.

"Listen baby, I really don't think that we should see each other anymore.": now apply crop to face

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condom shot

The act of taking a shot of alchohol from a condom.

"Man! That last condom shot made my mouth all luby"

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Amish Condom

Constructing your own prophylactic using the intestines of some farm animal (usually a pig) to keep you from becoming a baby daddy.

I was out of rubbers, but luckily had just butchered a pig so fashioned myself an Amish Condom.

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hand condom

Rubber Glove, like those used by doctors.

She was so disgusted by Ben's penis she had to use a hand condom while giving him a hand job

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Lawn Condom

n- The somewhat vulgar looking remains of the inflatable holiday decorations that have gone unplugged, sprung a leak, or otherwise left unattended in the elements, that lay on a front yard

"Man, that house must have a lot of kids"
"why do you say that?"
"must have 15 lawn condoms that they've not turned on yet tonight"

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body condom

a poncho to protect you from the rain

body condoms keep you dry.

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Ear condom

noun. (figurative) A rubber sheath worn on the ear during a conversation to prevent an offence (a wounding of the feelings). First introduced by Lady Gaga in 2011, in her controversial song Judas.

Keep in mind that “ear condom” is to be used in the figurative sense only; do not attempt to wear a sexual condom on your ear or attempt to place one on the ear of a human (or an animal, like a pet dog).

Jameelha : What! You cheated on me with Lady Gaga! I'm going to fuck you up you son of a bitch!

Judas : I think i should wear an ear condom...

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