Baby needs a Benadryl

internal monologue of exhausted parents

Betty was startled awake by daughter Harriet for the 3rd time that night, and Betty, bleary-eyed, thought to herself "fucking hell Baby needs a Benadryl." But, knowing drugs are not the answer, Betty rocked her to sleep and put her back in bed.

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I need steps

Phrase: euphemism for masturbating while wearing one's FitBit to gain extra steps through cheating

Lee excused himself from the table, saying "I need steps" as he briskly walked to his bedroom.

Need more Ink

Commonly used phrase to express a person’s interest in continuing the story of their life no matter how ugly it may get.

Person1: congrats on getting out of prison what is next for u my good sir
Person2: lmao man I need more Ink!

needs a date with a razor

A guy in need of a shave real bad!

He sure looks like he needs a date with a razor!

A guy who hasn't shaved for awhile

we need to talk

the famous saying by all significant others when there about to break up with you.

Tom...... i think we need to talk

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Need some wood?

Definition:
Question usually posed to an ass clown at a point in a conversation or relationship where the ass clown has grossly exceeded the limits of patience and tolerance in others who were, up until that point, making every effort to engage the ass clown in a civil discussion or relationship and indicating that the ass clown now runs the risk of unleashing a wrath previously withheld. The target of such a question is being informed that they have descended into such utter stupidity that their only possible hope of salvation is the application of a hard piece of a tree to the side of their head (for starters.) The phrase is stated rather than asked to indicate that the ass clown may be in imminent physical peril. Usage of this phrase is similar to bam stick although usually in a calmer tone - such as the phrase "You asked for it."
Background:
Asked, as if joking, by President George W. Bush of Senator John Kerry during the second 2004 presidential debate at a point where Bush knew a recent reference to timber would confuse his adversaries.

You WRECKED my car AGAIN? Do you need some wood?
nigga that jacked yo shit needs some wood
BUSH: I own a timber company?
(LAUGHTER)
That's news to me.
(LAUGHTER)
Need some wood?
(LAUGHTER)

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need some tissues

Verb. To be in a situation where bodily fluids, typically but not necessarily semen, are in urgent need of cleaning up.

"He's got three stacks of Playboys in his room? Man. He's gonna need some tissues."

"Fuckin hell dude, I'm coming down with that killer cold that's been going around. I'm really gonna need some tissues."

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