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Get a free handjob from your girlfriend
Hey babe its december 7th, HANDJOB TIMEE
sigh *gets hands ready*
When someone is being inconvenient to either; themselves or the people around them.
Themselves
Friend 1: I just bought the newest Supreme hoodie for $900
Friend 2: Ya know, you're kind of a handjob sometimes
Those Around Them
Friend 1: I was at work today and all the customers just kept stopping directly in front of me staring at things around the store except me
Friend 2: Yea, that sounds like all your customers are a bunch of handjobs
The act if cleaning out your genitallia. Or the feeling of listening to Metallica
I got a handjob from my mom when I was young. Rock n Roll never felt the same again.
When some one sneaks up on another person grabbing there dick and jerking them off till ejaculation at which point they jump out yelling boo scaring the other person.
Hey dude Danny DeVito gave me a spooky handjob.
The act of jerking someone off to distract them from the Alaskan Pipeline that’s about to be shoved up their ass.
Most frequently employed by DC lobbyists on various segments of the American public and by Amber Heard on unsuspecting romantic partners.
1. Dazzled by the company’s offer of thousands of good-paying factory jobs in exchange for tax cuts and reduced regulations, the city council was once again fooled by the old Halliburton Handjob.
2. After hearing of her boyfriend Brodie’s infidelity, Justine organized a gangbang and ambushed Brodie with a Halliburton Handjob in front of all his friends.
A solo sexual act performed in a blackhawk helicopter, from a gunners position, while in Iraq.
In a Blackhawk, the Co-Pilot side gunners seat gets all the down draft from the blades. Making it often times the less desirable position to ride in. However, you can adjust your left leg just right to make the down draft work across the fabric of your pants leg in a flapping or slapping motion. If you get hard and slide it down that leg, it's known as an "Iraqi Handjob".
"Bro, why do you ways ride Co-Pilot?"
"Oh, man, I'm over here getting an Iraqi Handjob"
"A WHAT!"
"Trade me spots, get hard and slide it down the left side, now adjust your leeeeg, yup right abou"
"Oh my gawd it's working .... This is actually nice!"
😘👉👉
When your wife or significant other grabs your arm in a swinging motion and makes you stroke yourself off.
My wife grabbed my arm and made me give myself a Holly Handjob!