Rural Dictionary

Waiting For The Bus

One of the most popular Cyanide and Happiness cartoon about a man who discovers that he can run very, very fast, and makes the most of it. Well...he does at first.

"Waiting For The Bus" starts with a man who is...well, take a wild guess what he's doing, why don't you.

When the bus comes, it speeds past him. The man runs to get the bus driver to stop. The bus driver points out that he is in the same predicament as the bus in the movie "Speed." It is at this moment that the man realizes he can run very, very fast. The bus driver gives a brief motivational speech telling him to make the most of his odd skill, which he immediately does.

Things go well at first. The man (Now called the 50MPH Man) immediately becomes a star. He wins races left and right, and unexpectedly finds his true love when he crashed into her after a race. But things take a dark turn when he receives an invitation to race in the Indy 500...and he accepts.

A man who can run at 50MPH can't hold a candle to cars that go more than 200MPH, which is something he learns the hard way. The 50MPH man loses a race for the first time as a result, and his life spirals down. He is arrested for attempted robbery, and his wife divorces him.

Several years pass. The 50MPH man sits alone in the training area where he first honed his skills. He then commits suicide by running full-speed into the stadium wall. The very same bus driver who inspired him to begin his career learns about his passing, and stops to admire the place where The 50MPH Man started and ended his life.

Finally, the bus explodes, killing him.

The End!