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Random
What Little Red Riding Hood said when she went to visit someone like Sean Lawless or Joey from "Jenny 'n' Joey".
Rather than her being startled and confused at seeing da disguised Wolf occupying her gramma's bed, I imagine dat our favorite crimson-headwear-clad fairytale-character would have been totally delighted when she said, "But Sir, what big balls you have!", since it would have meant dat she would have good times not only fondling said jumbo heavy testicles, but also feeling the extra-large load of warm thick sperm that said oversize genitals could probably produce shooting either into her mouth or up inside of her.
Wassa baby take me out to dinner
Person 1: what do you have to say to Joe Biden right now.
Person 2: wassa baby take me out to dinner.
Person 1: ayo
3👍 4👎
The words of a man with his priorities straight
Baby we did it! You're gonna be a father!
Im reading Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, what do you want?
7👍 1👎
A phrase to describe that things that don't kill you such as
Words, Idiotic Jokes, Hurtful Phrases, Bullies,
Idiots from the Internet
which can hurt someone inside but dont actually kill them
Makes you feel a stronger person inside because you learn to ignore them and move on with your life.
"You're an idiot..."
"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
"Oh"
186👍 38👎
Put the you know what in the you know where
put the hoo-hoo dilly in the cha cha
18👍 6👎
wipe it off him and say you're sorry
what happens if you cum across a tiger in the forest? wipe it off him and say you're sorry
11👍 3👎
We all remember that day when we learned what cancer was, but my parents in particular did excruciatingly well telling me that half of my mom's side of the family had cancer and that they were going to eventually die. In fact, I think she first told us(me and my brother), at the ripe age of 4 and 2, that our grandma had stage 3 breast cancer and was going to die. She didn't even tell us what cancer was, for fuck's sake. And the consequence of that was me going on for another 8 years thinking cancer was instant death and that different parts of your body could get it.... Like, what the fuck? And then turns out my Grandpa had prostate cancer, so that was fun, but not as lethal. Another one of my great-uncles had ball cancer AND lung cancer. I can only pray that I don't share any of their fates, but I think one of the reasons she escaped it was because she went to med school. Definitely not me, so I can only hope.
Mother: Son, your grandma is going to die.
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.
Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is