Random
Source Code
Random
Squirting 1-2 spritzes of lube (any flavour or un flavoured) into a zip loc sandwich baggie and using it to jerk off with, simply close the bag and discard it in the trash can when you are finished.
Super horny after seeing your sister mop the floor, do you mind if I go to the shitter and perform Spinter’s third law on myself
taking a dump in the upper tank of a toilet, also known as an upper decker, then proceeding the give someone a swirlie in the same toilet
That guy is such a tool, I'd really like to give him a third world shower right now.
70👍 9👎
A baseball analogy for a sex act. This occurs when two people are in the same room masturbating, getting off on each other masturbating, but not touching one another.
A: How far did you get with Christina last night?
B: She is super celibate so all she would let us do together is third base coach each other.
A: Did you talk during it?
B: Yea, it was pretty weird...
18👍 1👎
A disease in which no matter what group of people you're with you're always the one left out.
"I can't believe I got ignored tonight again"
"Yeah that Third Wheel Syndrome is quite the killer"
18👍 3👎
Classy Gordon Ramsey but Black.
person 1: who'll judge our food?
person 2: Shit, it's Sir Theodore the Third.
Typically located in a rural area, far from civilization, this rare specimen in her mid to late 50s is often referred to by scientists as an “Erika”. The exotic Gertude is often followed by the chant “dun dun dun” and a mariachi band. The creatures putrid bowl movements force all civilization within a 25 mile radius to evacuate to the nearest bomb shelter until the toxic gases have been omitted from the area. However, that plot of land will be inhabitable for years to come. Due to the genetic makeup of this creature, their back can not reach further than a 45° angle. The occasional Gertrude can be enticed by the smell of sharp cheddar cheese and the noise of diet coke streaming into a full yeti cup of vodka.
“I cant believe someone left cheese laying around! Aunt Gertrude The Third is going to force us into quarantine for weeks!”
9👍 1👎
According to Wikipedia Machester is actually the UK's 9th city or should it be called a town?
1 London 7,172,091
2 Birmingham 970,892
3 Glasgow 629,501
4 Liverpool 469,017
5 Leeds 443,247
6 Sheffield 439,866
7 Edinburgh 430,082
8 Bristol 420,556
9 Manchester 394,269
Manchester is the third city of the UK and therefore lags way behind its more properous, better educated and much larger rival, Birmingham, the true second city of the UK.
158👍 33👎