New job

Something people wouldn't get stressed about if anybody thought it would be easy. They would go in to work relaxed and ready to party.

A new job isn't meant to be easy, so nobidy would think it was going to be. A job you've had years of experience at is a job you already know hasn't been easy, since you wouldn't get paid if it was. Most things in life worth doing aren't going to be easy either, and people don't think they will be, especially not when they're realistic about them.

9/11 was an inside job

The conspiracy theory that George W. Bush carried out the terrorist act of 9/11 to justify the invasion of Iraq.

Guy 1:“I can’t believe the Taliban would do such a thing”

Guy 2: “nah broski 9/11 was an inside job”

3👍 1👎

side boner job

A job to be conducted without the full mental attention of the boner, but rather, the side.

"Dude! What about her she is totally hot!"
"Naw man, she's only a side boner job, too high maintenance for a relationship."

Backroad floor job

When someone fills the bed of their truck up with trash and other unwanted items, goes to a desolate back road, drops the tail gate and floors the gas pedal driving erratically until the truck bed is free of all trash

I need to clean the back of my truck, I'm going to do a backroad floor job later

Alabama Plaster Job

A ceremony you do to your wife to plaster her vagina shut when she decides she will have no more children. This is meant to be performed by the husband of the woman getting the Alabama Plaster Job
Steps
1. Get all of your male relatives to ejaculate into a cup (this can be done simultaneously or one at a time)
2. Measure the amount of semen you have, and thoroughly mix in an equal amount of Elmer's School Glue
3. When the glue and semen is mixed, boil it on a stove at medium to high temperature. We will now refer to the glue-semen mixture as glemen
4. Once the glemen is boiling, pour it over your wife's vagina which should plaster her vagina shut to block anything (such as a penis) from entering it again
5. Perform anal sex with the newly plastered woman to celebrate a successful Alabama Plaster Job

Johnny, make sure you don't masturbate this week, you want to provide plenty of semen for your cousin's Alabama Plaster Job next weekend.

band job

a combination of oral sex and wanking off a sexual partner. One may perform oral stimulation on the tip while giving a hand job to the rest of the penis or start with oral sex before finishing with a hand job or perhaps any own personal combination of the two with the aim for maximum sexual stimulation

She gave him a band job, that’s a double whammy the lucky bitch

Pop job

When a girl takes pop rocks puts them in her mouth and gives you a blow job

Bro my student asked me to change her grade I said no so she grabs pop rocks and gives me a pop job