cry masturbate

this is a term used when you are so sad that you are brought to tears, and you use those delicate tears as lubrication and give yourself a run around the town. It's sad, pathetic, and often done after you break up with your significant other but aren't fortunate enough to have breakup sex.

Ted and I are over, so I'm gonna go cry masturbate

Masturbation Medium

John.

He found his true purpose in Colorado as a masturbation medium. He just knew if you masturbated that day.

Minty Masturbate

Masturbation technique.... You put hard mints in your mouth before you masturbate and as you climax chew hard on the mints ... Your body like flips shit

Mother: damn Samuel your breath smells great
Samuel: thanks mum...
Samuels mother doesn't know he minty masturbates a lot

Masturbation Shame

An intense feeling of self hatred and shame one will receive after masturbating, often when they have masturbated to something that may be considered deviated or weird.

The feeling I get after I masturbate to intense Triple Fisting is referred to as Masturbation Shame.

emotional masturbation

v. 1. Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite remark from another;

Jane "I'm fat" Dick "No you aren't"

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violently masturbating

Niall Horan from One Direction was caught violently masturbating in Tokyo.

"Of all the boy band members I can't believe Niall was the one caught violently masturbating."

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intellectual masturbation

Fascinating intellectual breakthroughs regarding reality, language, existence, knowledge, perception, or human behavior which are completely unprovable and utterly without use, and therefore of no real consequence to anyone. See also: philosophy

Etymology: the mental counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but hasn't accomplished anything at the end.

The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis states that language influences human thought, so that native speakers of different languages think about concepts in incommensurably distinct modes. Linguists and psychologists contend fiercely over the validity of this claim, oblivious to the fact that it is intellectual masturbation.

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