touch the table

The act of performing a mundane, useless, or irrelevant task or action to appease to one or a few people, whose reason(s) for said task or action are just as mundane, useless, or irrelevant.

Person 1: You're invited to my party!
Person 2: Thanks, but I'm vegan. I'll only come if there's no meat-eaters there.
Person 1: Fuck that, I'm not about to touch the table for you!

steam table

When you shit on someone's stomach while they are in the wheel yoga pose.

I made a steam table on Jared during hot yoga, and everyone had to clear the room.

Table-ussy

A whole in a table with soap in a hole making a Table-ussy

bro in my class there is a "table-ussy"

Manwich Table

A table at which you eat manwich, play board games, and put innocent young children in chokeholds, often resulting in them kicking your knees.

Y’all wanna go sit at the manwich table?

table-legged

The act of attempting to level a wobbly table that has one leg shorter than the others. Usually resulting in reducing a dinner table to the height of a coffee table.

I just table-legged my haircut, (by trying to even out the ends).

table smack

when you get so mad you have to smack the damn table

me: if u say that again ima table smack
her: NO NO NO NO NO

table trash

Sluts found at pool halls. Asks you to teach her to play pool so you can bend her over the table. Constantly strokes the pool stick mimicking a bad handjob.

The pool table is surrounded by table trash.