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Mishearing lyrics in the song SAD! by XXXTentacion
guy 1: "why does this song say poo eyes semen nacho feather leather coat"
guy 2: "it doesn't say that, your just mishearing it"
8👍 2👎
A breakfast muffin made with prunes and coffee grounds baked in, for lots and lots of extra fiber and caffeine. Guaranteed to wake you up, give you plenty of extra morning energy - and go through your entire digestive tract like a Vesuvius of wire brushes!
My wife and I had an argument, so she served me a Roto-Router Red-Eye Morning Wakeup Muffin with my breakfast; and, by the time I got to work, I almost had to stick my thumb up in my butthole, to keep from crapping all over myself as I ran to the nearest restroom!
peter park wants to put some dirt in your eye.
The only reason why he wants to put dirt in your eye is because there needs to be a spiderman 4.
Bob- I gonna reboot Spiderman
Peter park- I want to put some dirt in your eye.
4👍 1👎
It's when an immigrant runs up to you and does the following:
Immigrant: "HIYA!"
You: "What the fuck?"
(Immigrant does a spin kick while at the same time, licking your eyes.)
You have just had the Super Deluxe Immigrant Spin Kick Eye Lick performed on you.
What a nimble bastard.
34👍 29👎
The spell that Seamus Finnigan uses to try and turn his goblet of water into rum. Much like everything else that he tries to put spells on, the water explodes in his face.
Seamus: Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum!
Harry: Ron, what's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water?
Ron: Turn it to rum. Actually managed a weak tea yesterday, before--
BOOM
When someone with a lazy eye is not wearing the prescribed glasses and their eye is wonkey.
Dude, one eye is going into the shop, the other is coming out with the change. LOL!
17👍 6👎
the affirmation of future meetings perchance to conclude the aforementioned meeting or passing.
see you later
A phrase to say: see you later
That was a nice talk, Hasta lasagna I got my EyEs on yA!!
Damn you got a phat ass, Hasta lasagna I got my EyEs on yA!!
I was just letting you know you are fine as hell, and if I can't be your man, I want to be your friend just so I can be near you, Hasta lasagna I got my EyEs on yA!!
9👍 24👎