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the hopelessly romantic act of a loving tongue inserted into your partners fudge-tunnel after an anal cream pie... what's important here is that the recipient of said cream pie makes a hefty duty before the act and neglects to wipe; then the anal resulting in the cream pie... and the next morning that rimming tongue pierces the crusty balloon-knot, thus releasing the dirty chocolate lava! (swallowing optional, not recommended)
"Man, I better get tested for worms..."
"How come?"
"Because I got so shit-faced last night that I ate that dirty bitches' chocolate lava crunch cake!"
(sound of person projectile-vomiting)
8👍 8👎
The #1 cause of premature death for ferrets.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
HUSBAND: Hey, honey, have you seen Freddy the ferret?
WIFE: No, sugar, I haven't.
HUSBAND: I've been looking for him for an hour -- I don't know where he could be. Oh, well, I guess I'll just sit down and watch some ESPN.
(Sits down, everything is fine. Then reclines -- SqueeKRUNCH! Very sadly, the La-Z-boy ferret crunch has taken another ferret life before it's time.)
HUSBAND: Oh my God! It's Freddy! Dear God...
OZZY: Don't let this happen to you.
33👍 7👎
When a teenage male has sexual fantasies about a woman over sixty.
John had a case of nanna's nut crunch for his social studies teacher.
5👍 144👎
Forced to explore new culinary options to feed the UK's schoolkids following Jamie Oliver's crusade on turkey twizzlers, Mrs Northern Dinnerlady came up with her termite and bean crunch - exactly what it says on the tin, a mix of termites and baked beans in a shortcrust pastry case. Very popular with the lads and lasses. N.B. Dinnerladies are the fine women who serve the nation's children with food at lunchtime at school, and the Northern ones are fucking units
Jesus wept, I just burned the roof of my mouth on Mrs Northern Dinnerlady's Termite and Bean Crunch, pet
A phrase used by a middle aged New Englander conservative who has a boston accent and is a die hard patriots fan
used when going to get some dinosaur crunch.
*man driving son and friends to ice cream shop*
Man: I can't wait to have some of that DINOSAUR CRUNCH!
*no one even answers him, or looks at him*
Man looks in rearview mirror and says
"What the FUCK is wrong with you guys?
25👍 9👎
feel like munchin' and crunchin' ? Perfect . Don't know what to say to someone or your brain just decides to turn off for a minute? Good!
Mom: " Did you wash the dishes? "
You: " Munch and crunch, snickers. Dark chocolate kitkat. "
1👍 1👎
D-crunch going to add Finnies and Fais? But don’t blame me lol
D-crunch going to add Finnies and Fais? But don’t blame me lol
2👍 3👎