Random
Source Code
Random
JMoney disease is a non-contiguous infection that causes an endless hunger. You may gain over 7 times your normal weight. The only known cure is to exercise, eat healthy, and don't play Fortnite.
Damn cuh, stop eating so much or you'll catch JMoney disease.
4👍 1👎
The CFK Disease occurs when being married forever and not having sex in over two months, you forget how to use your penis and it doesn't want to come out to play anymore. This occurs to men at any age. Especially the men age 18 - 40. This occurs when your wife would rather watch Medium, Las Vegas, or some other stupid show. When asked why doesn't she just skip the show for one night the following response is said, "I work hard. then i come home clean the house, help the kids with their homework, give them baths, etc." She then goes into a speech about what you don't do around the house and blames every F'n thing wrong with the world on you.
What she doesn't realize is that 18 hours out of the day she's on her cell phone with Lord knows who talking about stuff that doesn't make sense. Masturbating to online porn only works for so long. Afterwards, you just give up and your penis starts to shrivel up like a grape. This disease is worst than AIDS, CANCER, SARS, The Black Plague, etc. You get so used to not having sex, that by the time the wife is ready to have sex, you'd rather sleep. And as you're lying there you call her a Bitch until you fall asleep. There is no cure.
One research test was done by taking the wife to a local hotel/casino, gambled a little, drank a little, listened to a live band, and then went up to the room with the jacuzzi. The result was her falling asleep.
The only cure would be to get a divorce, join the monestary, or find a parttime girlfriend.
Husband: (I hope I don't get The CFK Disease tonight) Honey, I had fun tonight gambling, drinking, listening to that band, eating at that cafe, and sitting in the jacuzzi. How about a little freaky sex?
Wife: Ok. (stares blankly into space. And then falls asleep while giving a hand job)
Husband: Hey. Hey. Wake up. This is a sign of The CFK Disease that I read about on Urban Dictionary.
26👍 17👎
The condition in which the collar in the back of your neck is raised enough to show your neck tie. Usually, the sufferer is oblivious to this predicament and is a deacon in the LDS church. Can be cured be simply lowering the collar and covering up the neck tie.
"Hey, Joey's got Deacon's Disease! Let's fix him up!"
16👍 10👎
An over use of the words 'hmm' 'urmm' 'ummm' 'Mhmm' or any other derivative. It's when people are thinking too much but have a lack of anything better to say.
Me: He left me, so rude, I wonder if I have done something wrong?
Matt: Hmmm
Me: he says I've changed, do you think I have?
Matt: hmmm.. oh no, I double hmm'd. =O
Me: Oh noes, you've got Hmm disease!!
11👍 7👎
Where you constantly look for attention. On social media
When I turned on my Facebook feed my whole feed was full of my mates posts complaining about his life, I think he may have contracted barraclough disease
7👍 3👎
An affliction suffered by males when they're in large bodies of water (ocean, river, swimming pool, bath tub, etc) for an extended amount of time. The 'disease' itself is reference to the shrinkage of the male's scrotum due to over-exposure to water. Similar to the 'pruning' that occurs to ones fingers and toes when submerged under water for extended periods of time, but for the scrotum.
Happy's first birthday party was a real blast, except for the widespread case of swimmers disease.
7👍 3👎
A rare disorder where a person is so overwhelmed and blinded by their significant other that their indiviudality is diminished. The infected no longer recognize their friends and become so controlled they give up those they love. Early symptoms resemble immense bug loving and wearing edge hats. It is yet to be discovered if this disease is curable. Friends have been trying for a very long time. If you know somone suffering from these early symptons, they may still be savable if you get them help early, please contact a doctor. This disease not only hurts the infected, but causes plenty of hurt and sadness to those around them.
My friend came down with the Bugafado Disease and i no longer see him anymore, it makes me sad.
13👍 8👎