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The hottest vampire to ever grace this earth! He has bronze hair, topaz eyes(they used to be green) and super pale skin(due to his being a vampire and all.) He has two sisters and two brothers, all adopted. He lives in Forks, Washington and loves Bella Swan.
He is better than Jake, because he isn't an insensitive jerk who forces himself on other unsuspecting girls who then break their hand trying to hit him in the face, and always will be.
He is the most romantic person on the face of the planet, even though he is a fictional character from Stephenie Meyers Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse
No one is hotter than he is.
Edward Cullen is the smexiest man alive!
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Some one who is incredibly gay and/or Lesbian
Did you see that couple? they were so Simon edwards
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a gay snowman often mistaken for a 'vampire'. is also a sparkly rapist/stalker who dreams of eating his idiot girlfriend, bella. created by mentally insane woman named stephanie meyer, who obviously forgot her meds when she created him
I saw some sparkly rapist pretending to eat his girlfriend the other day" "Oh, it was probably Edward Cullen.
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the 108 year old virgin. Also known as the most amazing being to walk the earth. The only fictional character I've ever fallen for. The only fictional character worth falling for.
Stephenie Meyer is god.
Hes also a "vegetarian" vampire ;)
(meaning he doesn't prey on humans; only animals)
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason.
. . . And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
-Edward Cullen (pg.514, Eclipse. Stephenie Meyer)
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Similar to Edward 40-hands but with two bottles of Scrumpys Cider. The Scrumpys are taped to the hands and cannot be removed until both are finished. The player can do whatever they like without spilling the bottles or removing them. Often results in an ambulance arriving.
"Matt put your dick away!"
"I can't! i can't do up my fly coz iv got these damn bottles on my hands! Damn you Edward scrumpyhands!"
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A sissy, pathetic and lame excuse for a vampire. What was once a well respected and feared, truly evil creature of nightmare has now been turned into a bleeding vagina symbol of puberty, vanity and Hot Topic. He is an incredibly two-demensional and skin deep character who's only thought process is "I love you, Bella, I love you, Bella, I love you, Bella, etc...". I will never forgive Stephenie Meyer for this attrocity. Bram Stoker must be turning in his grave.
Sorry to burst you wet dream bubble you emo, vampire-wanabes, but Edward has so many undateable qualities about him I thought I'd list a few.
1. He sparkles like glitter. Last time I checked straight men didn't do that.
2. He can't get a boner: Boners are caused when the spongy tissue (not a muscle) of the penis fills with warm, circulating blood. Edward's heart does not pump blood throughout his system as he is dead, and therefore it is not logical for him to get a boner. In lamen's terms, Edward has a permanent softy. At least now we know why he won't screw Bella despite the fact that she is whorishly throwing herself at him.
3. He is old. 107 years old I believe. Even though you have probably heard this argument before, you probably have not thought about the fact that being this old probably makes him a racist, a sexist, a communist and every other -ist that I can think of.
4. Finally, the guy is DEAD! What the hell is wrong with you? You necrophiliacs.
Girl with down syndrome: OMG EDWARD CULLEN IS SOOO HAWT. I TOTALLY LOVE HIM AND I WANT TO MARRY HIM. HE IS GORGEOUS AND HAS NO FLAWS. YATTI YATTI YATTA, BLAH BLAH BLAH etc etc etc
Me: there goes another one of god's disappointments.
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cleaning a clogged toilet without the use of a plunger, usually with the use of hands and/or feet. Usually is followed by disposing of shit by tossing/throwing/chucking out of the bathroom, not necessarily at onlookers, but often in random directions. Often a common occurrence during states of being blacked out and/or acting retarted while drunk.
At shasta, T-hart was acting like a real edward shitterhands after he clogged the only toilet on the houseboat.
Dude theres shit all over the bathroom! Did you turn into an edward shitterhands when you passed out on the toilet last night?
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