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A mythical creature in the stories told around 2000 years ago about a legendary monkey that has god-like/omnipotent powers that will walk up to you in your dreams and steal your penis if you're a bad kid. Although it's just a tale that teaches kids to be good, this phenomena has shown up in many photos from the early 1860s to 1970s, only to disappear completely from every photo 69 hours later, after the picture was taken. Although having unlimited power would make you have every power imaginable and every power unimaginable, he only recorded powers are as follows:
-Teleportation
-The ability to make the skin of your penis roll up on itself and shred apart.
-Monky
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-Ability to show himself in dreams.
-Ability to erase evidence of his existence.
-Immortality/Invincibility
Derek: Dude, what happened, why were you in the hospital?
James: T-the p-p-penis m-monkey got me.
Derek: Who? What are you talking about?
James: MY PENIS I-IT'S GONE!!
Derek: D: oh no
Tyrone: What happened?
Derek: Penis Monkey.
Someone who is incredibly crusty and gross. They need to take a shower ASAP and wash their clothes. Someone whose pubic hair and facial hair looks the same.
"Bro, he is such a crust monkey he has cum stains on his pants and the skin on his right hand is peeling off!"
A love-addicted oddball monkey who will enthusiastically hug you until you can no longer get any air.
I felt the hug monkey squeezing me with all of its might... and then I realized it was going to kill me!
(n) A large, sticky glob of mucus.
Willis, recovering from a bad case of allergies, hawked a really gross lung monkey onto Gayle's fuzzy sweater.
Someone who trys to act gangsta but can't get it right.
That guy thinks he's so gangster he's a hood monkey.
The lowest pecking order of social class. Someone who wouldn't hesitate to snort a line of cocaine off a toilet seat while giving a bum a hand job.
"If that worthless ditch monkey didn't smell like urine and heroin farts, I would offer to buy him a meal."
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To be in the know. To know the scoop behind the scenes. To know what's really going on.
She told me they were all filled up, but I was hip to the monkey on their little scam.
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