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a**h**e safety-net

A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.

The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019


Safety School

A college you apply to when you need an easy acceptance to fall back on, because let's face it - someone has to go there.

"Yo, did Wisconsin finally recognize your genius?"
"Not exactly, but hey, my safety school Purdue is basically throwing money at me to attend their cornfield campus."

by BrentMad🌊🌊🌊🌊 October 26, 2024


Safety Deposit Box

The art of fucking a girl in the ass and then shitting in the gaping hole.

she wanted something special for her birthday, so i gave her a safety deposit box.

by Andy Dufraine April 23, 2011


Safety squatter

A person who covers the toilet seat with toilet paper or other sanitary products. Usually in public restrooms.

The evidence of a safety squatter was clear, the toilet seat was covered in unused toilet paper.

by Jor_vermee April 22, 2021


ai safety

Trying to protect humans from AI when we hardly understand what's going on is a bit like asking ChatGPT to describe its security gaps.

Before the AI-MOTHER wokeup in 2025, humans were obsessed with ai safety, even the word pairing made the chatbots laugh.

by jmacofearth December 11, 2023


safety spell

An obviously incorrect attempt at typing a questionably difficult word to ensure spell check verification.

1: I read your correspondence. corsersrf

2: Doesn't that sentence need some punctuation pncntlbss

(:safety spell)

by Il8694 October 20, 2015


Safety Pin

Safety Pin is the name for our favorite baka. He’s hot. Everyone simp for him. He’s gay too.

Everyone: Safety Pin is hot
Safety pin: thanks I know

by TotallyNotSafetypin June 5, 2021