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Taking a piss on a girls face after ejaculating so much on her mouth it is sealed shut.
That bitch sucked me so hard I decided to give her a California Golden Seal.
19👍 14👎
usually of a darker complection, often falls asleep while walking, to have a small penis or no penis at all, coined the phrase if you aint 280 you aint a lady. often syas the word shiiiiit
frank seal long wake the fuck up
i need a body for tow crew FRANK SEAL LONG!!!!!
5👍 2👎
The act of approving a pornographic magazine by masturbating all over it.
Josh: How did you like that playboy.
Mike: It has my semen seal of approval.
3👍 1👎
One who goes to the grounds of baby seals to play golf. Since there are no courses, and one's balls get very cold, it is best to just whack the baby seals for fun.
Me-We'll use that iceberg as the putting green, don't you think?
Andrew- OK, I'll go first. Hand me that driver.
*Andrew hits baby seal*
Me-Looks like you went oob there.
*Hippies come and protest, one lays down on my seal*
Hippy on seal: You'll have to take me if you want this seal, baby seal clubber
Me-Have it your way...
*hits hippy and seal*
20👍 21👎
Contrary to it's name, the Wholesome Seal Award is a reddit award mostly given to, not wholesome and heartwarming posts, but the most fucked up things you could imagine.
person 1- yo i just got a Wholesome Seal Award on my reddit post!!!
person 2- really? i didn't know you had a soft side.
person 1- it's on a video i posted of someone getting brutally mauled by orphans
person 2- what the actual fuck tho...
4👍 2👎
Open the Seven Seals (verb) Referencing the Christian Bible-The book of Revelations, where each seal is opened, and the world is wrought asunder by plague, pain and destruction.
The act of bringing down Armageddon upon another person, for something they did or said, which is as close to a wholesale Biblical Smiting as a human could get.
John knew that my Jane was my girlfriend. He tried to hook up with her last night. She came home and told me, so I got dressed and went to his house and I had to "Open the Seven Seals" on his ass.
Man, I saw the boss Open the Seven Seals on George yesterday. He never saw it coming."
Did he get fired?
He got fired, lost his pension, and was arrested. Then his wife left him for his boss.
Damn.
4👍 2👎
Army jargon for taking a dump.
Your 240 gunner's behind that tree dropping a SEAL team!
4👍 2👎