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To start off, BASE jumping is an acronyme for Building Antenae (uninhabited tower) Span (bridge or arch) Earth. It is very similar to sky diving, however the is no plane. If you are to complete a BASE jump off of at least one of each of the four different genres covered in the acronyme BASE, you can apply for a BASE number. They are awarded sequentially starting with BASE-1 to the thousands.
The first BASE number was awarded to Phil Smith as BASE-1 in 1981.
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81st Base -
You will need:-
10 cucumbers
10 fit girls
A bouncy castle
10 blindfolds
1 blind man (To stop him watching you and your ladies)
A can of whipped cream
A digital video recorder
A chicken sandwich
-All of the above are needed-
What you will need to do:-
Take the 10 girls onto the bouncy castle. Blind fold and undress them all and the position the blind man 2 feet away from the bouncy castle. Stick one cucumber up each of the girls vagina's. Get the blind man to count to three loudly and when he reaches three, any girls who don't like the feel of the cucumber must sit down. Take the remaining girls who are standing up and have sex with them on the bouncy castle, you may now remove the blind folds. After you are exhausted, sit down and make the girls who sat down make out with each other whilst you eat your sandwich. Once you finish your sandwich get the whole group together, excluding the other man and have sex for a whole week without stopping, pouring the whipped cream on the girls whilst filming it. Once you have done this you have reached 81st base.
Guy: 'Dude, I just reached 81st base!!'
Guy1: 'Seriously you must be a god!'
Guy: 'Yer, but my dick still hurts after the week of sex.'
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(adj. and adv.) Not right, not correct, impolite, rude, improper, treyf, crazy; not ready, not alert; in baseball and softball, not touching one of the bases and thus vulnerable to being tagged out.
"I don't like Hillary either, but his remarks about her were way off base."
"Joe was off base so he was easily tagged out."
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1st Base- French Kissing
2nd Base- Hand Job/Fingering
3rd Base- Oral Sex
4th Base- Sexual Intercourse
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When you are having sex with your partners entire extended family, covered in chocolate sauce and you simultaneously orgasm and LOSE THE GAME at the same time
Coincidentally YOU LOST
Kate: I totally got to 47th base last night
Matt &
Vonnie: You FUCK! I just lost five minutes ago!
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When she lets you put it in her pooper for the first time.
I finally made it to turd base last night.
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1st Base - Kissing, open mouth. Also any above the belt touching is included in this base.
2nd Base - Hands below the belt.
3rd Base - When mouths are used below the belt. This base also includes the sex toys.
Home Plate, (Home Run) - Intercourse
5th base or 'The Dugout' - Anal Sex.
A grand slam, would be achieving all of these on a first date.
First, Second, and Third are the typical sexual bases. Anything beyond those and you probably aren't using baseball metaphors any longer anyways!
(Unless of course referring to 'The Dugout', because that's just hilarious!)
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