Flip the table

It’s 6pm on a Saturday. Your mans is late to pick you up for the date that you are finally going on after a year and a half in the “talking” stage. You look out the window pondering life. You realize that he has arrived. As you are driving to the bar for your date Chad tells you that he thinks he may be interested in seeing Nicole after you two are done seeing one another. You’re mad…so mad. So you yell at the driver to pull it over. You get out of the car but you get back in. You and the driver get together then and there. You get married to the driver who is secretly Jeff Bezos.

Chad ends up in jail for laundering money. That is called flipping the table.

Trina totally is going to flip the table on Josh when she gets the promotion.

tables the turn

A term which means to have the your power over someone flipped for you to become the powerless. This is humorous variation of "turn the tables" made to subvert expectation by flipping the order of words around, creating an absurdly worded sentence. Alternatively, the past tense of this phrase is "the turns have tabled"

I had enough of bossing me around, now it is me that tables the turn.

wood table

An ingrian or simple person, normally very pissy.

Kate Weaver and Michael Iovenko are wood tables after they tried to sell dope to the cops.

Bobby Tables

DROP TABLE (
SELECT table_name
FROM information_schema.`TABLES`
WHERE table_schema = 'myDatabase' AND table_name LIKE BINARY 'del%');

XKCD Comic # 327
Sanitize your DB Inputs Bobby Tables Comic

Table snake

A game played at dinner parties and other events. A male puts his penis on the table and waits for someone to notice by yelling "table snake!"
Whoever can go unnoticed the longest wins.

We played table snake at the Christmas party last night. Johnny won when it took 10mins for anyone to notice that his snake wasn't just a misplaced cabana.

Ass Table

a chair

*at a party*
Guest: Where do I sit?
Host: Pick any ass table you like, there hundreds!

Turkeys on the table

This means it's time to go, like on Thanksgiving when the turkeys on the table it's time to eat. The term can be to tell someone to hurry up, and get their ass in gear. Also can mean you have a chance to win a game or a chance to get get your freak on with some smokin hot bitch.

With 10 seconds left in the game, the turkeys on the table for the Steelers with the ball on the goal line.