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Quite possibly the largest gathering of braindead retards in all of the DMV. Many of their football players are barely able to pass their classes due to being let into the school for being morbidly obese in 8th grade. All the females hate it there becuase all the guys are focused on each other since they are all extremely homosexual and hungry for nothing but cock. They have an rotc program which pumps out more morons by the minute than georgetown prep. They routinley get raped by Gonzaga in basketball, soccer, and rugby, as well as football, as long as the refs arent sjc alumni and/or payed off by the program. Many times during the D.C. classic basketball tournemnt hosted by Gonzaga, a st johns freshmen is seen sitting alone in the Gonzaga student section during a boring prep vs. st johns game, living out his dreams becuase he couldn't get into gonzaga. St. Johns is commonly refered to as a "safety school" during the 8th grade highschool application process due to their incredibly low academic standards. Anyone with a heartbeat can easily get in to st johns and be a cadet, whatever the fuck that is. The small and quiet st johns booster club often cheers to oxygen at basketball games becuase they can't sellout a game like gonzaga can, due to the fact that the team would struggle against a ymca team of 40 year olds who "would have gone pro if it wasn't for the knee." Every girl that goes there knows that she would choose visi, stone ridge, or holy child given the option.
Guy: I go to St. Johns College Highschool
Girl: Get the fuck away from me you braindead moranic tard!
Guy: I go to Gonzaga.
Girl: I want you inside me.
johnely is an amazing friend. she’s always there for you, supports you, makes you laugh, gives you advice, she’s beautiful, she’s caring, she’s loyal, she’s perfect. she’s quiet but once you get to know her she’s really outgoing. johnely is so pretty. johnely can get mad fast but she doesn’t say anything, she just sucks it up and acts like everything is ok. she has a lot of friends but only a couple of close friends. she enjoys being with her friends. she’s an awkward person and gets nervous around a boy she likes. when she starts to like someone she really really really likes them. but she doesn’t let herself get to attached. johnely focuses on herself and always gets good grades. johnely is an amazing friend, daughter, student, and just an amazing person overall.
girl 1: hey are you friends with johnely?
girl 2: what kind of question is that? ofc I’m friends with johnely.
“thou shall not dirty dance in da streets”
my dance friends were reciting the bible verse john smith 3:15 to me yesterday
A painful and elocutionarily debilitating medical condition originally identified among pederastic members of the Brothers Hospitallers of St. John of God, brought on by compulsive fellatio performed on unwilling minors.
A doctor's office in 1974...
Doctor: Well, Brother, what might the problem be today?
Patient: Humph-haugh-haugh-maugh-hinh.
Doctor: St. John's jaw again, is it? That's the third time this year, Brother. You really must give it a rest.
Patient: Rhaoum-haugh.
Drippy John but if you were to switch drippy with Grippy, when John starts to get grippy, you know you want to feel inside that tight Johnathan gripster hole. Right when you pull those fingers out, you get a chocolate surprise, you can either lick it up, or let it crust and use it as a glove.
"Have you met Grippy John?"
"Yeah, I got that chocolate surprise."
"Lucky..."
That poor pigeon that the teacher tossed in the bin like it was nothing. R.I.P you will be missed by many (meaning me and my bestie).
Eggy: I'm gonna climb in and fish Warren John Sparkle out the bin
Peggy: I'll give you a boost and then I'll meet you in there.
john lockamy a real one. solid all the way around he would never squeal. he is very lowkey so watch yo hoe. he is also a jack of all trades. he sells body oils, drives large vehicles, trains people to get their cdls, and can fix any part on a car from el camino to crown vic and even a bonnie. the kid does it all
john lockamy is that salesman !