I have a Boyfriend

A sentence used by a Woman with a Boyfriend. Is used when someone asks her out for a date but she doesn't want to go because she is loyal to her Boyfriend.

Can also be used by narcissistic women with a Boyfriend who think they are so much Better than everyone else that everytime a guy talks to her she thinks he wants to smash no matter who the guy is or why he talks to her.

Guy: Hi there! Can i buy you a Drink?
Girl: Thanks but i have a Boyfriend.

Guy: Good morning.
Girl: Sorry i have a Boyfriend

Guy: Hey, i think i found your...
Girl: Sorry i have a boyfriend.

Cop: Can i see your insurance and registration please.
Girl: Sorry i have a boyfriend

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Have a wonderful day!

In British, and American, English, this is a euphemistic, and sarcastic, way of saying 'Go fuck yourself'.

Bully: Die in a hole
You: Have a wonderful day!

I have this friend

An "I have this friend" story, is a story where someone asks for advice about a problem that's really about them, but they're too embarrassed to say so. They're similar to "I know this guy" stories where one person thinks up something funny, cool, gross, weird, or sexy, but essentially untrue, and tries to pass it off as true by framing it as if it happened to someone they supposedly know. "I have this friend" stories are about seeking advice about an embarrassing problem however, not about entertainment.

Janet: "I need your opinion about something."
Mary: "What's up?"
Janet: "Well, I have this friend... She's thinking about cheating on her boyfriend with an old flame who called her up last week. She's not sure what she should do about it."
Mary: "Oh my God, Janet! Chris called you last week!?"
Janet: "It's not about me! It's a friend of mine!"
Mary: "Sure it is. Just make sure Tom doesn't find out."

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I have to sleep

Used when it’s late at night and you don't want to answer a question.

Person #1: “Did you take Mia out on a date?”
Person #2: “Dude, it’s 4am right now. I have to sleep.”

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I HAVE CHORTLES

Fawful's catchphrase from Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. An amusing, mocking, insulting laugh.

Bowser: Hey! What's the story with this crazy statue? It's going nuts!
Fawful: I HAVE CHORTLES!

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They have Häagen-Daz

When your friend has never been to the dollar store and realizes they have Häagen-Daz ice cream. On top of that, the spoon is inside the container. Mind-blowing!

Person 1: They have Häagen-Daz.
Person 2: Yes, of course, why would they not.
Person 1: Can I have a spoon?
Person 2: It's already inside.
Person 1: No way.
Person 2: (Disappointment)

onions have layers

ONIONS HAVE LAYERS WE NEED NEED LAYERS SHREK WOULD BE PROUD

Onions have LAYERS!!!!