Under the Table

The opposite of being In the Closet.

An individual who has identified themselves as homosexual in an effort to fit in, but is actually heterosexual.

A member of the non-heterosexual community who has secretly been engaging in heterosexual activities, while denying bisexual or heterosexual preferences.

Steve to Eric - "I totally saw Paul making out with that girl from the bar, but he keeps denying it. Ugh, he's so Under the Table".

Table Spam

All that space-taking crap you find on tables at restaurants--extra drink menus, desert menus, weekly specials menus, Direct TV ads. . .

"Move this damn table spam, I need room for my platter of bottomless chicken wings."

table mate

A cowerer who goes to a conference with you who sits at the same table.

Hey pal, who is your table mate today?

Table addict

Someone who packages so much heroin for street sale that contact with the drug causes them to become addicted, even though they don't inject or snort it deliberately.

At her sentencing hearing, Kimberly McIntosh told the federal judge that she had cut and processed so much heroin during her time as comptroller for the Black Guerilla Family that she become addicted, even though she's not a user.

"So you're a table addict," the judge replied.

Penis table

When a male is trying to grind with a female during a dance, but his height makes it so that his entire genitalia is in line with the female's mid back. Therefore, the female's ass functions, essentially, only as a table for the male's penis.

Yeah, my friend has grown quite tired of clubs, everytime he tries to grind with someone her ass just becomes a penis table.

Table sex

A form of female masterbation in which the female goes to the corner of the table and uses the edge to stimulate her vagina. The form is very often done with an image or video to make the experience more enjoyable.

Yumi: Hey Dannie! I just caught Rose having table sex to your picture!
Dannie: I always knew she was gay

table for hov

Table for hov; When you dine alone & book a restaurant for your lonely self as your friends are non- exsistant or your group can’t decide on take away always that one friend that wants to eat at that same crusty spot, get your self a table for hov then.

Caller; Hi can I get a table for hov please?

Restaurant; You again? Of course you can you lonely fuck, mates bailed out on you again?