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Similar to the penis tuck. The swift tuck you do with your left (or non-dominant hand, leaving dominant hand to shake hands) when you're in public, standing up and have a visible erection.
Typically, thumb (under clothes) at the base of the erect penis and fingers at the head of the penis (over clothes). Then, push wrist down and fingers up. This results in the penis being tucked under the elastic strap of briefs or any such equivalent.
When done in one swift movement (that takes years to master) it appears that you are simply adjusting your pants/getting comfortable/scratching. This can be embarrassing but is better than the visibly erect alternative.
Co-worker: "Have you seen the bosses new secretary? She's fucking hot."
Me: "Yeah. When bossman went to introduce us I got so hard I had to perform the one-hand tuck."
No species has ever seen before the big fat giant shovels on the end of one’s arms that evade all scientific explanation.
Stranger: What on earth is on the end of Terris arms?
Leah: Oh that’s just her mammoth hands
When you use ranch dressing as a personal lubricant for masturbation.
"I left out the Hidden Valley after I was finished eating my hot wings, so I could give myself the old ranch hand."
A leader who will do anything to accomplish their goals. This is especially the case when it causes the suffering and painful death of people, including their constituents.
(Origin: Operation Ranch Hand)
Hello, I am Commander "Ranch-Hand" Smith. I am best known for pushing one of my privates into the line of fire to use as a distraction to escape.
When your hibachi chef fluffs his junk before lighting the onion ring volcano, his way of enhancing the experience for everyone involved.
Though it’s not the cleanest but I know I have a good chef when I see his Japanese jazz hands fire off before the show.
A catchphrase u say when something is about to or will go terribly wrong or weird.
Caleb: did you hear that Orlando is dating lianis!?
John: Things Just Got out of Hand
Choki ng during sexual intercourse
Hey Jamie you using authoritative hands on me in bed tonight?