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my brother was spanking his monkey while he was watching porn
93👍 26👎
Funny monkey disease, or FMD, is just a nicer way to say AID's. It would be alot nice if you heard, sorry i gave you funny monkey disease, rather than, sorry i gave you AIDs. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want to have something called funny monkey disease. It has the words funny and monkey in it. Sounds like fun
Sorry, I forgot to tell you, i have funny monkey diseas, you might want to get yourself checked.
Oh, ok....
-2 mins later-
What the hell is funny monkey disease???
101👍 30👎
When you invest every last penny to your name into cryptocurrency and stocks and lose all of it
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The act of masturbating ones self with their feet.
Being a contortionist can really be helpful when i give myself a Brazilian Monkey Twist.
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a sexual practice involving shaving all body hair below neck, lubing up the whole body, and screwing on a waterbed without sheets.
we were having shaved monkey sex last night when he bed sprung a leak.
105👍 33👎
An offensive term for an i.e.d
If you don't know what you're doing building a monkey bomb in your basement and injure yourself, the government isn't responsible.
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Someone who has millions of certificates but lacks any sort of hand on skills.
Boss: Did you find any candidate to interview?
HR Exec: Nah. Just certificate monkeys.
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