Random
Source Code
Random
While the name itself is quite common and can be quite the euphemism, a true John is a rare breed. The most prized of species will take on spongebob qualities such as a diastema (gap tooth) and amazing work ethic.
Look at that John over there with his Homer Simpson hair, he is the love of my life.
While the name John may be common, and versatile as it is a preferred euphemism for some mundane and not so mundane things; the "cis gender" male John is anything but. There are many human male Johns on the planet, and while no two are the same, there does seem to be a preferred type. An extensive poll of attractive, loyal, kind, intelligent, hardworking and endearing woman, found that the most coveted of Johns seem to be this hybrid of dorky yet extremely masculine man. Let's just say hypothetically, that said John was out kayaking with a childhood crush, it would not be uncommon, for that crush to look over at him, and think " Oh my God, not only has this mid life crisis morphed him into Homer Simpson, but I am completely and utterly in love with that Duff drinking goofball".
As she tried to kayak herself out of the circle she kept paddling herself into, Beth was growing increasingly frustrated, wondering when she would finally get to consummate her relationship with John.
Johns are an interesting breed and are quite versatile, with the name serving as various euphemisms. Phenotypically speaking, Johns can be quite varied, but the most coveted among ideal women is the John that has recently emerged from some sort of existential crisis. One will notice this highly prized type by his interesting mix of dorkinness and raw masculinity. When not kayaking or rescuing damsels in destress, you can find a John jetsetting around the country to fix things. He fixes things, big things, machines that are important to industries which in turn help make economies run.
After paddling herself in circles in the kayak, John told Beth that he would save her if she flipped over. It was in that moment, that she knew what the hype of catching a rare Pokémon felt like, for she had spotted the rarest of Johns.
A boy who wants a girl that’s not for him. John usually goes after the wrong girl , the girl who’s over him. He often fumbles his chances with the girl that actually cares and wants him.
John a boy who often goes for the wrong girl.
his last name is fucking longer than both his first and middle name combined
"hey have you met john pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosisdeitysmurglewithermith?"
"what is that fucking last name"
His heart has been broke in a million pieces, so be careful with his heart. On the exterior, he is very happy and chills with his friends. On the interior, all happiness is flushed down the toilet and he cries alone, but he does not let others show it. heart been broken so many times for him that he is used to it 💔💔💔💔
“You know John?”
“Oh, him? I heard he got his heart broken by 7 girls. RIP THAT PUSSY AAAYY”
“And the time he got asked out as girl was a joke”
There are many definitions on John, for there are many types of John.
1. That one cool dude you can appreciate
2. That annoying person at work, that you just tolerate
3. The silly goofball that thinks he's normal
4. That one neighbor who thinks he's annoying, but he's not
5. That one neighbor who thinks he's cool, but he's not
6. ext..
So if you have been in contact with a John, don't run away, because you never know what type of John you'll be encountering.
"Hey, do you remember John?"
"What type of John? "
"The cool one."
"Yeah, he was a cool John."